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5/2/2009
My husband & I also just watched the movie. I even bought the book because everyone was talking about it. We have been married next month will be 8 years. We too have gone through alot. I have always said that God sent me my husband because he knew what I truly needed to keep me with Christ. I had just gone through a very messy divorce with an ungodly person. I met my husband on a blind date that my brother & sister in law had set me up on. I tried for so long to avoid the date but again God had other plans. December 31, 2008 was 11 years we have been together. I had never had a man want to sit in church with me & when my ex & I got divorced, I pray for several things. #1 someone who was wanting to live for Christ, #2 someone to be good for my daughter & myself, #3 someone who could accept my family situation with my parents also living with us. I know God sent Jerry to me because he knew that Jerry was for us. Jerry is a wonderful man. For the most part, we do not fight but do have disagreements . . . as all couples do. We have gone through a lot losing my parents in the last year, several surgeries and even one surgery where my family almost lost me. God is GREAT. Thank you for such a wonderful film. I can't wait to see more films like this one.
Narlene
4/30/2009
My Husband and I just watched the Fireproof movie. Since we work almost exactly opposite shifts it is really hard to find the time to curl up on the couch and watch movies, this was a great choice, and we were both teary eyed by the end. Both of us are such saps. We have been married for nearly 5 years and I suppose we have our dissagrements but we tend to talk them through we dont generaly argue and we are very close. It hasent been all bunnies and roses though, we have had financiel problems, medical problems, and we have both given up things we have wanted and needed for the other. We have been searching for quite awhile for something that will continue to strengthen our relationship more but in a biblical context. Something to help keep us close when it gets really really hard. We just ordered two copies of the Love Dare books and we hope this is what we have been looking for and something we can apply to the many many years we have ahead of us.
Written together,
Andrew and Amanda
Amanda
4/28/2009
I watched the Fireproof movie at a marriage seminar that my fiance was not able to attend. This movie and entire concept came right in time because we have been battling with some tremendous trust issues for quite some time.
A few years ago, we were having a difficult time and my fiance was not very easy to talk to. When I would present him with my concerns, he would respond in a very insensitive manner or just get extremely irritable. At that time, I went to a female co-worker and close friend, just to be heard. When my fiance found out that I had spoken with her about our concerns, he became very angry and said some really hurtful things about my friend and I.
More recently, we were having difficult times and he was being very disagreeable, insensitive and argumentative. Again, I communicated through e-mail with an old male friend of mine whom I had known since middle school for advice. Initially, when my fiance confronted me about it, I chose not to share it with him, for fear that he would over-react and lash out like he did previously. Once I did share with him why I had been in communication with my friend, he did just what I feared he would.
He whole-heartedly believes that this friend and I were intimate, which we weren't. I have shared with my fiance that we only communicated via e-mail and over the phone once. Although my fiance says that he forgives me, at least once every two weeks or more often, this situation comes up and he says some extremely hurtful things.
It has been very frustrating, painful and draining for me the past few months. I have sought Jehovah in prayer as to how to deal with this. I have even asked my fiance how I should handle being falsely accused? I feel as though I keep getting the short end of the stick! I've sinned against my fiance because I went outside of the relationship with our concerns and I have apologized and asked for his forgiveness...but, why can't the initial issue be addressed? Why doesn't he acknowledge the fact that he has not made me feel that I can come to him with my concerns without being judged or spoken to in an insensitive manner?
I started the dare yesterday...please pray that we make it through!
4/28/2009
My husband and I have been married for 6 1/2 years. This is my second marriage and I have two boys from my previous and a daughter with my current husband. We have had problems for some time now. My husband was diagnosed bipolar and he has had numerous issues including suicide attempts, hospital stays, and major anger issues. In November of last year his problems led to an arrest and a total upheaval of our lives. Soon after that he sought counseling through our church and was forced to stay completely away from his family. Thorough this all God was holding us. My husband realized that he need God in his life. He was saved on December 26th! Soon after we started doing couples counseling and we struggled. He wanted to change and was sorting through his anger issues. I prayed every day for him and for our marriage and family. Finally we saw the Fireproof movie. We watched it at home together, it was hard for both of us to watch and my husband was very quiet. After the movie was finished my husband turned to me and asked if he was as bad as what he saw there. I prayed I would be able to be honest without him getting mad and told him yes he had. He apologized, he cried. He went to each of our children, asked for forgiveness and cried with them. Something really clicked with him. He immediately went online and searched to see if the book from the movie was available. He asked me if I wouldn't mind getting one for him the next day. Since then it has been a total change. He has God and this study was just what he needed to teach him how to love me and our kids. We have worked very hard and completed our marriage and family counseling. We are doing so much better. God has great plans for our family. In the fall we are planning to renew our vows in front of our church and family and starting the next faze of our marriage based on God. Thank you so much for providing this movie and study for the struggling families, new couples, and all others that are changing their lives because of it. God Bless you all!
Peggy
4/27/2009
We have only been married for 7 months and I recently found out my husband looks at pornography constantly. After discussing how much it hurt me with him he made a promise to stop. He is in the Air Force and he constantly travels and deploys about every 4 months. I watched Fireproof a few days ago and I could not stop crying. When I asked my husband the same day if he was able to keep his promise he said no and lashed out in anger. The movie taught me to apologize and try to be understanding. I have begged him to watch the movie before returning home. I just pray that I am able to forgive and that God can work in both of our lives to heal all the pain.
4/27/2009
My fiance is the one who introduced me to the Fireproof movie & the Love Dare. He actually purchased it one day without telling me. He watched the movie first, then we later watched it together. We had been having communication problems prior to this movie coming out. We had been trying to work on things together. It seemed as if everytime I tried to sit down and talk to him about any problems he was having, he would walk away or get angry with me. I began to find it easier to avoid any topics that would irritate him.
I later began to have suspicions he was talking to another woman. I found a number in his phone and he would get texts from this person and hide them from me. I finally took matters into my own hands one day and wrote the number down. I called it and heard another womans voice. He ran from the situation. Right away he apologized numerous times and stated he would NEVER speak to her again.
Deep down I honestly believe him. The one thing I did was blamed myself. I knew that I wasn't there for him the way I always was, our communication levels decreased, and we weren't spending nearly the time we used to spend together. I know that he is a man that needs a lot of attention, so I can understand him going to someone else with his problems. The thing I keep bringing to his attention is that he lied when I questioned him talking to another woman, he would get mad at me when I did try to talk to him, and that he had to go to a woman with his problem when he has many male friends.
He has told me he wants to start fresh and do whatever it takes for us to work on our relationship. He still wants to get married in July (as planned), but I am still doubting it. He told me he is going to start the Love Dare over again. He even talked to a mutual friend (who is a pastor) about it all.
I still question things with him. I wonder just how far things went with him and the other woman. Her stories and his just don't match up. I mostly believe him, but there are a few intimate issues that I question because of details she mentioned. He continues to deny it all, and it is almost driving me crazy. I truely do believe he loves me and wants to be with only me. Even though he has to work with her 5 days a week, I don't have any insecurities about what is going on at work.
I truely feel that after seeing this movie and realizing that more relationships have problems that ones that don't, that this relationship can work. I've realized that no relationship is perfect and I feel that after our struggle our relationship will get stronger. I have noticed that after 12 days things are beginning to improve. Yes, there are still doubts there, but we still have 28 days to go. With the right attitude and mindset and the help of God, I feel our relationship will only get better from here.
4/26/2009
04/26/09
I have watched the movie by myself and then once with my husband. My husband said that the movie only showed a man's point and not from a couple point. I disagree, i believed that they showed from both because oince he started really reading and doing as the book said day by day it was hard for her to believe that her husband had changed. I believe that I am a good wife to my husband, but I know that I have an attitude problem like when something bugs me I just blurt it out and then things come out without thinking. So I decided to order the book the love dare and and take the forty day challenge and I am confident that if I follow the book that I will change as well.
Allana
4/24/2009
It's amazing how we are so willing to forgive some very small and at times big things in our lives, such as me for instance. I don't really remember what age I was but I was molested at the age of around twelve, twice by family members. I did not grow up in church , attended a funeral mass or a medding service a time or two, but what is so amazing is GOD UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND GRACE!!! Through his mercy I was able to forgive these family members and they remained in my life throughout until they both passed on. I have not harboured any unforgiveness towards them since god moved in my heart as a child. And yet for some reason I have found it harder to forgive my husband for what feels like infidelity with my mother in law, I for the life of me have tried sharing this with my husband and my mother in law, to stay out of my marriage and for my husband to keep our marriage between us especially intimacy and finances. But he refuses, just thinks I don't like her.
Sometimes now I don't feel like I do,because neither of them respect our marriage. My husband has somuch unforgiveness towards his ex-wife, sometimes I think since he hates her, he wants me to also, but I don't. She is one of those EX-WIFE,and she also wants to try to control my husband. We have been married for five years now, I also was married before and was widowed, I do not share any of my problems or turmoil of my marriage with my family because I know they to will judge. All of my in laws are against this marriage because of what he has shared with them.
This has caused us to seperate since February and as much as I want him home and this marriage after having waited 18 years before after my first husbands passing, it is so hard to want to even think of giving this man the time of day, he has now told me that he's not sure if he ever loved me, which he thinks will hurt me and make me run faster than lighting, (and I want to sometimes because it’s hard to think that I have been mislead for five years now and none of this ever meant anything.
I pray that the LORD will convict him and his family. I have forgiven him, now as much as I don't like the words "be patient", I am trying and the comittment I made to god and my husband I will try with all my might to stand by, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad. It really stinks though, I feel like I am the one that has done wrong, but I have to remember these are his actions and he is responsible for them, not me. I will try to hang in a while longer. Please pray for us.
I started the love dare two days ago now and the first two days went really well. I will try to purchase the book as soon as I can, he is not helping me financially, so I now have a new job I will be starting next week, so I am anxious to buy book. I will try with all my being to not give up, even when things don't go according to the dare of each day.
So far so good. I can't wait to post good news in thirty something days.
Blessings to each and everyone of you.
And this to shall pass!
seeking god
Brenda
4/24/2009
My Husband and I watched the movie on the advise of our 15 year old daughter. They had shown parts of the movie in her sunday school class. What a great thing to pass on to the younger generation while they are young in their relationship experiences. The movie was us in many many ways. One point in the movie was so on point that my heart jumped and I couldn't control my crying. It really made me feel like I am not alone. My husband and I are both Christians... me for a long time, and he is a fairly new Christian. We both came out of failed marriages, and he came from a terrible divorce. We've discovered through the past 6 years of our marriage that we carry a lot of baggage from our childhoods and our past marriages. These are hard things to get past... we really need to rely on God to help us through. We started the love dare book (we each got one). I started mine, but I don't think he has started his because I don't see any change in him yet. The first couple of days were not hard for me because they were things I put into practice regularly anyway as a life value for me. The harder part is openening up real and deep conversation. I feel very defeated in our marriage. I feel on edge, unhappy, stuck, depressed, not myself, and like I am constantly trying to keep the peace with everyone (we have 5 children together... and a blended family). I am at the point where I am just annoyed with everything he does and how inconsiderate that I feel he is. I am upset with myself also, that I have let it get to this point. I wished I had trusted God years ago and set some ground rules. We have come a long way through counseling and marriage enrichment classes at our church, but the doom still feels very strong. Am I expecting too much?? I am on day 6. So far this is the hardest for me, because I feel that I am the balancer in this family... I don't know how to "add margin". I am also facing illness and I am afraid to leave my children. It hit me that I don't feel that I can trust my husband to nurture our children. That is a terrible feeling. It's not as simple as not liking the way he does things. I truly feel that he will alienate them and they will have no safe person to talk to at home. I am trying to have faith that God will keep us as an intact family, and faith that he will bring me my husband that I love so much back to me, and that we will be stronger for all of this, BUT I feel so defeated and without hope. Pray for me and I will pray for you all that God helps us see the light ahead for our marraiges and families.
4/23/2009
My husband and I have been married for a little over five years now and have been separated since October. It has been a struggle throughout the years because of outside forces, mainly his ex wife. We have five children between the two of us. I have watched the movie twice in the last two weeks and I absolutely love the movie and after watching it I committed myself to trying to salvage my marriage. He is the love of my life and without God present in our marriage it will never be fixed. I am on Day 12 of the book and I absolutely love this. The book has brought so many things to the surface and I have had to revise things because we aren't living in the same house. It has been very difficult to not get the results that you want or expect but I know there has been a huge amount of hurt between the two of us so it is going to take some time. Yesterday was the first time in a long time that he suggested that we meet for lunch and oh how my heart soared at the thought of seeing him. I do hope that I am able to because I miss him so much. I know that we will be fine someday and I just need to let God work in our lives and just believe!
Georgie
4/23/2009
4/23/1009
I'm currently stationed in Kuwait supporting the war in Iraq. Going to this process has been a bit more challenging for me bacuse my wife and I were 3,000 miles apart when she confessed to me that sshe was no longer feeling in love with me. I began this journey about three weeks ago and I assure you this has been the most eye opning experience of my entire life. I qam on day 15 of the love dare book aand very amazed as to how much poison was rinning through my soul.
I've been divorced twice and always assumed that my giving and nurturing ways was all I needed to have a happy long lasting marriage. Unfortunately, I went through a few shocking episodes as I married at the tender age of 19. I was not prepared for what life would throw at me during my first marriage not to mention the effect it had on my second attempt at being happy.
My third marriage is not on the rocks because I was ignoring how much help I really needed. I wrognfully decided to keep God out of my love life and that led to miss out on an absolutetly wonderful gift. I always blamed and insulted my wife for the simple fact that I thought she owed the respect I never got before from other relationships. Long story short, I was that man on the movie and for the first time
I was looking at my life from the outside in for the very first time. I acted, spoke and thought like the man on the movie. I hurt my beloved wife simply trying to protect and defend my selfish not so unconditional love for her. I've cried endlessly as I watched my own life unfold as I watch the movie. I've broken things, said aweful insulting words to my wife, and blamed everything on what I ironically called her "selfish behavior".
This has been the greatest blessing I've ever received. I will never regret the day I surrendered and went to see my Chaplain and allowed God to take the reins to lead my life on the right path. Now I'm only hoping that my wife is able to accept the change I'm going through and that God puts His holy grace on her and let us rejoice in our marriage for ever.
4/23/2009
My husband and I will be married for four years in September, We have two children ages 2 and 1. I try to be a religious person, I attend church every sunday and take the children with me. My husband chooses to stay home. He does not believe in "organized religion" and even at home I do not see where he tries being even a halfway religious man. This hurts me, I want him to be involved in that part of our lives. I watched fireproof alone because he chose not to watch the film knowing it was a christian based movie. Since then I have wondered if there really was a "40 day love dare" so I popped on the site and saw the book. I just recieved it this morning and I am so anxious to get started. so day one starts with me TODAY!! I am praying and hoping that this works for us. I just see the pattern in our relationship and dont know if it will work. I know it takes two and I feel like I have been the only one working on it. I feel I have faught so hard to save love thats just not there on his part anymore. So while reading this book I dont know what Icould do anymore than what I have done. He is not changing. I am but he is not. I know I am guilty too in some things, but it seems as if the root of the problem always stems back to him. I am lost as to what I can do next. I just hope this book will help me do more and maybe he will want to imitate what I am doing to save US!! Good luck to all of you as well. I know this will be a long 40 days and I am praying for you just as well as myself! God Bless!
Lacey
4/22/2009
My husband & I wil be married 15 years in September. We have been together for 19. We have a May/December romance. I am almost 18 years older than he is. But in spite of that it has been the best years of my life. We got saved about 8 years ago. And have been doing quite well involved in our church and life has been good. The Lord has blessed us in so many ways. We saw the movie Fireproof. We both cried through it. At the time I am not sure if anything was going on with my husband or not. Then a church and family situation came along and things began to go south. My husband turned toward pornography on the internet and our relationship became physically and verbally abusive. It was a nightmare to say the lleast. One day out of the blue he called our pastor and told him he was quitting the church and he was divorcing me. I had known for sometime that something awful was about to happen. I was praying and everytime I would go to church I would request an unspoken request. Seeminly no one on the outside knew except us and the pastor. Pastor sent us to counseling. My husband opted out after a few sessions saying we could work this thing out ourselves. It didn't get much better. Pastor tried to meet with my husband on a regular basis and that didn't last either. I was growing weary but wasn't about to give up. The first thing that happened was our church held a Marriage Retreat. It was hosted by the counselor that we went to see. That was the beginning of the healing that needed to take place in our marriage. After that our church started a Marriage Class and the counselor that we were seeing was the teacher. The first book that we went through was called Love & Respect. My husband never read a single page of it. He was discouraged because we were involved in a program in the church and we couldn't be there every Sunday in the Love & Respect Class. The next class was on a book called The 5 Love Needs of Men & Women. We went to our pastor and asked if we could be excused from our obligation so we could be in every class. We have attended every class and I am amazed at how our marriage has turned around. We are now praying together, reading the Bible again, and treating each other the way God intended us to. It wasn't even this good before. I love my husband with all my heart! I don't know why we had to go through this but I am convinced that if God repaired my marriage he can repair any marriage. I would like to say to any man or woman who is going through a difficult time in your marriage to hold fast to your faith because God is not the author of divorce. Stay before the Lord in prayer. Find yourself a counselor, mentor, prayer warrior and hang on because God has a plan to bring you through whatever it is that you are going through. PRAISE HIS HOLE NAME!
4/22/2009
Well where do i begin....I was married for 8 years, and now divorced. I really wished the Love Diary had been out when I was in need of it then. I watched the movie so many times and I cry each and every time when I can see "myself" on that screen. It opened my eyes to my life and wished things could have been done different. I know now what my calling was...it was to help others to see that their marriage can be saved. And with the help of this movie and the Love Diary itself...there is not a marriage that can not be saved if both wants it bad enough. Don't give up like it did and turned my back...Love will always be there and strong enough if you just give you heart to God. With him...All things are possible.!
Brian
4/20/2009
I am going to start the Love Dare tomorrow. My husband of 6 years in July, 2009, and I have been separated and living apart since February 8, 2009. I want my marriage and our family. I know that he does too and we have so much to work through, that I am going to do this as a source of trying to make it work for us. I am praying very hard to God for His guidance and direction. I know if this marriage is what God wants me to have, it will be…..
He says the "relationships" are over. I am choosing to trust and believe him. He has gone back and forth about wanting to work on our marriage and not sure if he wants to. I know he feels ashamed and embarrassed by his behavior. Despite all that happened and how he dealt with his unhappiness in our marriage, I am not giving up yet. He said he doesn't want to either and isn't sure what we should do, but that he doesn't want a divorce and he doesn't want us to give up. We remain living separate and spend time together and with our daughters. This has been incredibly difficult not to mention everything else we're going through with jobs, having to sell our home regardless of what happens with our marriage because we can no longer afford it etc... I work full time and earn a very good wage. His income was double mine though and that will be ending soon. About 5 weeks ago I watched Fireproof after a friend/co-worker told me about it. I was so inspired that I rented it for my husband to watch on his own if he so chose to. He did watch it and said he found it had a very good message. I don't believe he would do the Love Dare with me, so I am going to start it tomorrow. We had already planned to get together and go on a picnic with our daughters and he is off work for 1 week so I thought tomorrow would be a good start date so that I could get consistency in applying the program while he can be around more. I am not sure how this is going to work since we aren't residing together right now, but I am going to give it everything in my being to work the daily readings and dares. Please pray for me and my marriage and family as I will for all of you! It is hard for me, but I am putting it all in God's hands.
Mary Beth
4/20/2009
the main essence of day 19 is to hand over control of your life to Jesus:
I have let Jesus into my heart (main chamber)
but stlll keep Him out of some areas.
Using two degrees as a help, I shall open the door of my computer porn to Jesus, just a wee bit, two degrees, and let that shaft of his light shine on that darkness: that He purges me from lust and porn addiction: that he help me satisfy my needs in a healthy God fearing way..... So Help Me God!
Su Min
4/20/2009
My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years, married for almost 7. There have many tough times, in the last two years we have split up for a month and have since tried to work out our differences. This past weekend she told me she wanted out. She still loves me but not the way she used to. She told me she no longer likes me and she can't stand to be with me.
I miss what we had and while I admit I have done several things wrong in our marriage, one of them being jealous of her friends and time that others get. After our children were born, I always seemed to be gone more and left her physically and emotionally. After our second child I was gone the most and told her I didn't even want to be around. I regret all of that and am now paying for it severely.
I want to keep fighting for it. I love her more than anything, always will. We have been through so much in our life. We watched fire proof about two months or so ago. I am not a religious man by any means. I did enjoy the movie and it was almost to a "T" what our life has become. I am in public service as a 911 dispatcher and a paid on call firefighter/EMT. I am not home much. I work nights. The odds are against me more so. After this past weekend, I am pretty sure that she has lost all hope in us, while I have not. Yesterday before work I went out and bought the book and read the entire thing because I have faith. I am ready for day one to begin and pray (which I am not used to or accustomed to doing) that I will have the chance to change things around and bring back the marriage we once had and let the love we once had shine back through. She is a very intelligent person, and after all these years I am still attracted to her as I was when we first met.
Although my actions have shown otherwise through the years I would do anything for this woman. I can't change the past. I can't make her forgive me but if the man upstairs is willing I hope she is as well.
I doubt she will ever read this, but you do know that I love you with all my heart and we are meant to be.
Brian
4/19/2009
It's amazing how I have gone all this time without noticing how bad things really are with my marriage. This movie... it was our marriage! All of the frustrations and the way they treated each other... that was me. I am a horrible husband and desire to be better for my wife. I would like to blame someone other than myself, but the fact is that I do NOT make my wife happy! I'm ready to change that. After seeing the movie on Friday I got the book. This WILL change the man I am for my wife! I don't mind to put it all out there (name and all) and say that I need to work on this. In 40 days I plan to look at my marriage, the man I am for my wife, and how things will be... and you'd better bet that The Lord will have done some work in me! I am soo ready for this and my wife soooo deserving. I will pray for you all and hope you to do the same for me. Without The Lord it is impossible... with The Lord ALL is possible!
James (undeserving husband of 5+ years now)
James
4/19/2009
I have been married to my husband for almost 2 yrs. my husband is in the ARMY and we have had problems since 3 wks after we got married... that was the first time he asked for a divorce. 4 months into our marriage he filed for divorce and then he deployed to Iraq for 15 months in December (6 months into our marriage) things got worst and he kept tellng me he wanted to get divorced he stopped talking to me 7 months after he deployed.(that was in July).. so for 8 months i didnt know much... i only knew he was ok bcuz i would see when he was online so that gave me some kind of comfort knowing that he was ok and in Novermber he told me he didnt love me and that he wanted to get divorced bcuz all the ladies he was talking to were being scared off bcuz he would tell them he was still married but getting divorced... so In February before coming back to the states he called me and told me he loved me and wanted me to move to Colorado where we were stationed i said no...
I he came home in march and 2 wks later he looked for me to tell me that he loves and needs me... i dont know what to think of it... i saw the movie fire proof today and I am gonna try to see if we can work this out.. ill keep you all posted
Veronica
4/16/2009
ever since me and my husband watched the movie it has touched our lives and we work together in more ways than just one. this movie is a great christian movie and more couples should watch this together.
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