STORIES
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6/6/2009
My wife and I celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary this past May. When asked in the past "How have you managed to stay married for that long?" my quick answer was that it's not easy, but you've just got to make sure to argue thing to the end. Speak your mind, she may not like it but as least she knows where you stand.

I watched the movie "Fireproof" with my wife. It was my suggestion to watch, I had heard so much about it and wanted to see it for myself. I figured it to be a "chick flick" and something she would enjoy watching.

After seeing the movie I sat back and looked at the perspective I had on my long-time marriage and was astonished and surprised that we were still married. What an idiot I was. I really and truly have married my first love and soul mate and after some reflection saw myself treating her like a doormat. Now don't get me wrong, she is a strong woman that has opinions of her own too. But it was my behavior that had me appalled the most. We argued quite a bit about even the smallest of things. Each of us standing our ground, having to be the one who was right. Sometimes the argument went on for days, never being resolved but rather just tossed aside to be brought up again at some later date. Sometimes I thing that the only reason that we were still together was that we were both too stubborn to give up. I guess in a way that was not entirely a bad thing, after all we were still together. But together and TOGETHER are two different things. There were times that I felt that she was more like a roommate with benefits. It's weird, we both attend church faithfully but we did not live our faith."

After watching the movie it turned to her and said that I was sorry for taking our relationship so frivolously. It was truly moving for me. For days after seeing the movie I couldn't stop thinking about it and how my marriage could have been over a long time ago.

I looked on the internet and found the website www.fireproofmymarriage.com and the Love Dare. I instantly decided that I was going to do it. I want to a local Christian Book store and bought the book. I read the first few pages and decided that I was not going to look ahead in the book. I was going to take the dare one day at a time. I am on day 5 and already I have seen a change in myself. I have not hidden this from my wife. I leave the book on the coffee table and read the dare for that day first thing in the morning. I record my thoughts in the on-line journal so that she won't read them. I know that she has not taken up the challenge, at least not yet. But that won't matter, even if she doesn't that's fine, I intend to see this through and change myself for her and our marriage.




Steve



6/5/2009
My husband has been gone for nearly a year. He woke up one day and said he didnt love me and hasnt loved me for many years. He moved out at 4 am one sad Sunday morning. We never fought before this but after this there was never a moments peace. I could just not understand how he could just leave like that, for no reason at all. I had a nervous breakdown and went to hospital for 2 weeks. Then I started seeing a lawyer about divorce. I was about to start proceedings when I felt God was telling me to try once more. I told him if this really was him he would have to shout real loud. Two friends told me to go and get Fireproof the movie. I bought the movie and the book at the same time. I decided to take the dare because it was only 40 days and it could make a difference. It was very hard in the beginning. I battled when I had to buy something - in the end I bought my husband a JEEP jacket and took it to his flat. The kids said he loved it. He sent and sms to say thankyou. I also battled with the dinner on day 18. I decided to send an invitation by sms because then if he said no I was OK because I did what was required. But he said yes. So I went all out and did flower arrangements, had my hair done, put candles in brown paper bags and made his favourtie food. We had a good evening. He brough one of his train models for us to talk about. We went to fetch the kids together from friends houses who looked after them. After that I found all sorts of reasons for him to come home - to help with the kids projects, the help with the garden, just for dinner with the kids and I, to fix the electricity, whatever I could. So we are friends now. He is overseas at the moment on business, so I offered to feed his animals and have borrowed his car because mine is in for repairs. Dont know where this is going, just know the next spot to put my foot. He says he does not love me, but he cares for me. He cant stand to be near me. But I will continue. This weekend I will clean his flat, put flowers in there and do some basic shopping so he has some food in the house when he returns. I am on day 27. Please pray for us.

Megan



6/5/2009
My wife and I have been going through our problems for almost 6 months now. And its has only been since Sunday, when I turned it over to God, that I'm begining to understand what is going on in our marriage. Thanks to God and the love dare, I think I'm headed in the right direction and if it His will my wife will give me the second chance I desperately need. Either way, I know I will be a better person. Let me explain:

Since the 1st day I realized that my wife and I had problems. I began asking her what I had done and what she wanted. The same answer over and over again was " I don't know, I just feel hollow inside. I feel I have nothing left to give you. " I began realizing that I had taken her for granted for most of our 16 years of marriage. She has been a mother to our 2 girls (12 and 10), a mother to me and then my wife. I have been working on that for about 4 months now. I have been doing laundry, helping clean house, picking up the girls when I needed to, bascically pulling my fair share. But things weren't seeming to get any better. In the meantime with the advice of a counselor I read Gary Champmens book " The Five Languages of Love ". Which are Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Gifts, Words of Affirmation, and Quality Time. I just knew that my wife needed Acts of Service to fill her love tank; as it is called in the book. Before I go any farther let me give a little more background information. My wife had told me several times she wanted a tattoo and I did not listen. She got one a little over a year ago. I noticed it, but thought it was a fake one she had worn a couple of times before determining just where she wanted it. Once I found out it was real (a month later) I began to have real security issues. I felt she hadn't been honest with me. I began questioning her every move and became overly jealous and possesive. Fast foward to now, I'm a career fireman of 15 years and thrive on 2 things: trust and the ability to fix things fast: as someone posted in another topic. Which is absolutely the best description I have heard. Trying to fix things fast was a major issue; if things don't seem to be working I'm going to change strategy. I had tried all of the languages except the one she needed, which she couldn't tell me. Which caused even more problems because nothing I seemed to be doing was working. My wife is a very loving and caring person. She would rather make her self miserable trying to keep others happy. Instead of telling the truth or saying anything for the fear of hurting me or someone else. These are issues she will have to deal with for herself.

Here is where I begin to understand. Love dare day 25, love forgives, I was thinking my wife had problems with forgiveness. She has had issues with her past that I thought she needed to forgive. Maybe she does or doesn't, I'm not to sure about that now. However, God spoke to my heart Monday and Tuesday and said you have the same issues. My wife has heard me several times say if someone makes me made enough, I am done with them. I was thinking about someone I needed to forgive and ran into him not 30 min later at the gas station. I haven't seen this guy in more than 3 years. I forgave him in my heart and was able to be polite and coridal to him. Previously, I know I wouldn't have even spoke to him.

Day 26, love is responsible. I took responsiblty for my actions. I asked my wife for forgiveness. I had been trying to blame her for things not working. Her unwillingness to work on our marriage. The way that I was raised. Her tattoo causing my insecurities and several more.

And now the love language, I'm a fireman and work 24 hrs on and 48 off. I don't get home in time to see her before she leaves for work the next day. It isn't a time issue, I can and will from this day forward. And when she gets home from work we would we eat supper and I would go watch tv in one room and her another, because we don't like the same shows. You multiple bascically those 2 days over 15 years and that's almost 10 years of our marriage that I have not been at home. That is not counting the times I was out of town on hunting trips, sporting events with my friends, classes for the fire department, or just hanging out with the guys. What I think my wife is missing is Quality Time. I on the other need Physical Touch, along as I had an intimate relationship with my wife I thought everthing was peaches and cream. With her lacking the ablity to tell me any different for the fear of hurting me or making me mad she has caused herself to feel hollow and used. She has said she has given all she has to give; which is VERY much understandable. I'm still not sure if this is all of the problem. But, I can't help but to think that this has to be a major part the problem.

Steven



6/4/2009
hI My name is Tracy I watched Fireproof at one our church summit which my husband was also with,We are running our own ministry in Cape town the Movie really open our lives up so that we can see our down faults in our marriage.We are running our own marriage covenant we statred in may 2009 the same week we got calls from couples that attended the covenant and asking when can we have another one we are planning once a month to have a covenant marriages change after they watched the movie.Thank you very much for sowing into our lives so that we can so into others God bless your ministry.

Tracy



6/4/2009
alex and i have been married threes years and a few months.when we first got married everything was great we were the happiest couple there was. well he went on deployment and and when he got back everything change. nothing was the same. nothin is the same now. we fight all the time. i tell him he drinks to much and he tells me i comlain to much. we fight about money and about who does things around the house and who don't. everyday we have a fight. and i have tried to tell him how i feel and open up but i just can't get through to him. he don't eve tell me his feelings. the only thing he tells me is when i tell him to stopp drinking so much i sound like his mother. we have seen the movie fireproof and i for one love it. after that movie i wanted to jump up right then and there and change my marriage.and i have tried over and over again to change things i do or the way i say things. but my husband has gave me no effort what so ever. i work every day nine hours a day 6 days a week and everyday i come home but i don't get to relax because there is always so much to do.and if i dont do it does not get done.i love my husband with all my heart, but he is not the man i married and i'm not the woman he married. i am afraid that we have changed for the worst. we have seperated twice already but not because i wanted to just because he said he was not ready to settle down. 2 years into the marriage. i was hoping someone could give advice but no one seems to be able to. i have nightmares everynight about my husband leaving me or being with another woman. and i know it should not be that way. and another thing thats bothers me is that we are so far in dept that we are swimming in it but yet we are so young. he's 22 i'm 21. and we fight alot because i get mad at him for drinkin so much and he gets mad at me for me being mad at him. i have tried to change him but then i relized i need to change myself before i change anyone else. i want my marriage to work and i will go to any extent to make it happen.




6/4/2009
Well it's been 40 days since my wife told me she did not love me. She also told me she was moving out. I had allready seen the movie about a month before so I asked my wife to give me 40 days before she moved out. I bought the book and started doing the dare. It's 40 days later, I've done most of the dares that I can by myself. My wife does not want to be included in this. But i carried on as best I can. Over the last 40 days she has told me three times she is leaving me. Today she is still living in our house, and sleeping in our bed. I thank the lord every morning when I wake up and see her there. Today is the first time in a long time where she came to my work and spent the lunch hour with me. She continues to tell me daily that she does not love me, but I continue to tell her it does not matter I still love her. No matter what. The dare has opened my eyes to a lot of things and I know I have gotten closer to god. I have no idea where the lord is taking us as a couple but I am so glad that I did not give up halfway thru the book. There was a few times I almost did. I really believe the book has helped me and time will only tell if it helps my wife. I believe it is because of the lord why she came and had lunch with me today and I am so thankful for what the lord has done in my life. Thanks for all the prayers for me out there as I have left a couple of messages when the times have been tought.

R




6/1/2009
Okay... I haven't actually started my 40 day (and then some) journey yet.... I have the book, I'm just waiting on my fiancee to return from his two week adventure with the Army Reserves. This gives me time to plan my days around taking the challenge. The relationship between my fiancee and I is one that some people can only dream of. We don't fight or argue much, there's nothing I hate about him, just minor issues that plague us. For him, I'm taking this challenge to AFFIRM our love and commitment. We will be getting married on July 25th of this year, and I believe this dare will only make that day more special.

I also am taking this dare for my daughter. I figure if I change a few things up a bit, it will help with her too. It can't hurt. She has lived with my mom for 10 years, recently my mother 'dumped' her back off to me. I love my daughter and won't turn her away.... However... the mother/daughter relationship is so strained, hurtful... it's just missing. She has so much hate and anger inside and I've tried so many things to fix that. This is my last idea.... if it can help couples stay together and become closer.... it can help my daughter and I.

Wish me luck as I double my 40 day journey.

Aimee



6/1/2009
Freddie and I have been married for almost 3yrs now (14 July), but for the last year we have had more downs than ups. Financialy we were going under and i lost my job. Things were just getting to tough on me, because I had to do everything in the house and if something was out of place i was to blame. About two months ago i spoke to one of my friends and she told me to take out the movie Fireproof, I told her that i have had enough off my husbands verbal abuse and towards our two children (which isn't his - but he accepted them as his own). I was as down as could be and didnt really want to divorce him but couldnt stay in such a relationship. There was no communication between me and Freddie and if there was it always ended up in yelling and swearing. Then if i give him the silent treatment he would knock holes in the doors. He would never lift a finger towards me. So we took out the movie and that Saturday 2 May 2009 evening - Just Freddie and me my kids slept out - we watched Fireproof. The movie was an eye opener and so much what happened in the movie was happening in our marraige. We spoke till late that evening and we watched the movie again this weekend. We always thought that we were Christians but one never realise that you do sin and no one is God to tell you what to do. I thank Him for sending my friend along the way to tell us to watch this movie. For the past month we have gone to church every Sunday and my children and me arent scared to go home any more. My husband has gone into therapy for his anger problem and we both are going for marraige counselling.




6/1/2009
Myself and my wife have been married for a number of years now and although I love my wife with all my heart, I haven't been making her feel special or appreciated for quite a while now and I believe the love that she had for me has all but gone. We are having quite a rough time right now all because of my insecurities, which I have gotten over but it's a case of to little to late. I saw this love dare or 40 day plan and thought it a good idea. I have the film but don't want to push things to far just yet with my wife. She has told me she doesn't want to leave me and I wholeheartedly believe her. I just have alot of repair work ahead of me, hopefully god and this book (when it arrives) will help me on the path. All I want is to make my wife happy again. I stopped doing things with my wife like going out, going to church etc, recently I have started doing these things with my wife and realised what I was missing out on, I had almost segregated myself from my wife, to the point where I was lonely. Things started getting better where by I was trying to be more attentive, but I think I may have tried to hard which made her feel "closed in". I have seen the errors of my way and saw today as day 1, "Love is patient".




5/31/2009
I have just watched the movie FIREPROOF and I am utterly humbled. My husband and I have been married 4 years now and have gone through a great deal in the 4 years. I don't know where to begin but I do know that we need to fireproof our marriage. We seperated last year due to some issues that were out of hand. I did not want to be miserable and married. I could have stayed single and done that. Over the last year we have slowly found our way back to each other through God's grace and mercy. There is so much hurt and damaged due to trust issues and the like. I am unsure and scared. I do know one thing is that I am committed to the vows I made and that I know that God takes those seriously. I love my husband and can't imagine being with anyone else but I am praying that God shows me his will and that I am submissive to his will whatever the outcome may be. My husband is lost and does not know what kind of man he is. He feels like giving up on himself and sometimes our marriage. He feels like giving up on God. He watched the movie with me tonight and was completely moved to tears. I have not seen him that way in a long time. I know God wants our marriage to work and I know that he takes vows very seriously so I committ to God and his will in my marriage and life my husband.

Colleen



5/30/2009
Yesterday was Day 75 and our 5th anniversary. My husband went out of town on a trip he'd planned months ago. The enemy told me that I should be sad, angry, that there was nothing to celebrate. Thanks be to God that he has taught me to recognize the LIES of the enemy.
I celebrated in my heart. I remembered how anxious I was 5 years ago to get to that altar to marry him and was reminded that I must still have that same zeal today. I praised God that although we are going through this storm, he's still hasn't left home. No matter how much he says that he wants to "move on", he hasn't. Everyday when he leaves for work, he hugs me and tells us to have a good day, not with the same passion as before but he won't leave the house without doing it. (see God at work?)He hugs and kisses our children now more than ever. All God's handiwork, just to remind me that he hears my cries. My perspective has changed, my heart renewed and my life changed forever.

I AM A STANDER. I am standing for my marriage. I am standing for my family. I am standing in the gap for my husband who is wrestling with sin. If I don't then who will? The enemy has no control over anything. God allows him to shake things up to get our attention and cry to him for help. I cried and God answered and is still answering. I find God in every situation...especially the dark ones.

So to all you reading this wondering if this "Love Dare thing" really works...YES it does, but not how you think. It's not some quick fix for problems that have taken years to fester but it is a start on journey to help you fall in love with your one TRUE LOVE, GOD. When you dare to love him and trust him completely, accept his will and stop trying to force your spouse to change, you'll see a miraculous chnge happen in YOU. Then God can use you to work a change in your spouse. Don't expect the Hollywood ending. Expect the "HOLY-wood" ending. Don't be fooled by the enemy's lies...look for God in every situation. Commit to each day. Pray for strength for one day at a time...one hour...one minute if necessary. To God be the Glory for all the things he has done! Be encouraged saints! I am praying for you.

Loving God and my husband more each day,
Mygavin mommi




5/30/2009
My husband and I have been married for going on 4 years in July. I met James through his high school sweetheart (I know funny place to meet your spouse huh). He was handsome, funny, charming, everything I could ever want in a spouse. Well I was 19 and he was 29. (yes there is an age difference). Anyhow, We hit it off right from the start. I found myself visiting him at work, then going to his house to visit,then we moved in together. Things were going good and we were doing everything a young married couple should do. Paying bills, being faithful to one another or I was at least. Only one problem we were actually living in sin. We were not at that time CHRISTIANS. We swore, drank, I smoked untill but one day my whole world came crashing down around me. After a year of living together an ex-girlfriend of his came back with horns and changed my life forever. She accused my now husband of a very henios crime and he went to prison. I tried to stay faithful but temptation set in and we split up. However, in 2003 with the help of Jesus Christ we found our way back to each other. It just felt right. We continued the visitation in prison for about a year in half when we finally decided we wanted to be together forever. In July of 2005 we were married in an Indiana prison and I decided at that time things had to change for us. We really tried to make our strange and often difficult relationship work. I would write letters only to get a bunch of negativitey back. I got the blame for him being were he was. Our relationship was alot like Caleb's and Catherine's due to the fact we obviouslly had no time to spend together, but that our worlds seemed to be pulling us in different directions. I quit writing and he got more negative. I had thought about giving up untill one day I while I was on a visit he told me about the movie "FIREPROOF" and that he had actually cried. NOw people, I want you all to know my husband dosen't cry so for him to cry at a movie, I knew I had to watch it. Im ever so glad I did. It made me understand things about marriage better. Im trying really hard to be the supportive understanding wife that he needs. Im not trying be however, a nagging inconsiderate person. This Love Dare has really opened my eyes in the fact that I no longer take things for granted. Thank you for taking time to read a short version of my story. I hope to make a lot of new friends on here. my email is christina_rickey2006@yahoo.com. Looking forward to talking to alot of you in the near future. For all of those couples out there who are hanging on by a thread. Hang in there!! With alot of prayer and the help of this book. Your relationship CAN BE saved.

Christina



5/28/2009
Chris and I have been married for 5 yrs and have been together for 9 yrs. It has had it's ups and downs. On May 4 I told him to leave our home because I caught him chatting to another girl on the internet. Since this has been a problem for most of our marriage I felt I could not take being second to other women. This movie is a true blessing. I ordered the movie and had it sent to his mother's house and he watched it and told me that he never stopped loving me but he needs to find himself and God. He does not want to move back to florida but wants to get his own apartment. He has told me that he has watched the movie 4 times. I will definately order the book for him and myself so that we can bring our marriage back to what God has ordained it to be. I ask for your prayers and I am also praying for your marriages. God bless you.

Melissa

Melissa



5/25/2009
Wayne and I were married for almost a year. We have a 2 year old daughter. He walked out with his daughter 9 months ago. He immediately started with divorce procedings.He also was suing me for custody of our daughter. Through a bitter divorce and custody battle I saw the dvd fireproof. I said to God there is NO way i am going to do this. No Way. My husband and I had spent so much timje fighting in front of attourneys and the family advocate. It was about 2 weeks before the divorce was to go through and also 2 weeks before our 1 year anniversary...I bought the book...love dare and started doing it. Because we were not talking...i did it through text messages. It was so scarey and in another way so funny. We hated each other so much. There was so much hatred and bitterness. God performed a miracle and 3 days later we watched the dvd together. We have called off the divorce and we celebrated our 1 year anniversary. My husband has moved back and i have my daughter back. We continue each day with the love dare book. Where would i be without that book and the way God has moved through the dare's each day. Thank you to everyone connected to the book and thank you to my Saviour who is the ultimate forgiver and restorer.

lisa-karmine



5/24/2009
I was visiting my mother this weekend and going through her movies. I found "Fireproof" and she said I should watch it. We sat down and started watching it, and I started seeing reflections of my own relationship. My fiance and I met over 3 years ago and became friends. He deployed to Iraq then I also deployed to Iraq. We kept in touch and stayed friends. When I got back from Iraq last October, we went on a date and have been inseperable since. We both believe that God had a plan for us and that is why we are together now! We recently got engaged and he is currently in training and about to go to Iraq again. We have started pre-marital counseling, and I believe that this movie and the Love Dare could only help us more as we begin our lives together. We won't be getting married until after he comes back from Iraq, but I believe even though he will be a billion miles away from me, God will help us work through this deployment. He has yet to see this movie, but I know he will watch it with me and he would do anything to help our relationship also. I can't wait until he gets back from training to share this wonderful thing with him!




5/21/2009
Brad and I (Alice) have been married for 18 years. Mostly, we have had a very good marriage. He is a great father to our two sons and a very loyal husband. We saw the movie, Fireproof, with our church. Brad thought it was the best movie he had ever seen and was very willing to get the Love Day book. Honestly, we have had so much fun as we have each gone through the book on our own. We are not always consistent each day and we are not in the same place in the book. Because of that, I never know what Brad is going to do to surprise me and he doesn't know what I have been reading and will do for him. When he called from work to ask what he could buy on his way home, I giggled and remembered doing the same thing a few days earlier. But I was thankful to have an errand done and he was happy that he could help me. I surprised him with his favorite meal (more expensive than we would usually do) and he has brought flowers to me. I can see that even the smallest reminders such as how we great each other when he comes home from work, have made us appreciate each other even more. It feels great to make each other happy. This movie and book are not only for couples who are struggling, but also for those of us who are content with our spouse, but want to do our very best to have fun and live HAPPILY together for life! Thank you for all the encouragement and great ideas for a true "love life". I feel like we are more "in love" now than just "committed".
Alice

Alice



5/21/2009
Hi, my name is Lorelle.I am a divorcee with 5 kids,currently in a 8yrs relationship with a wonderful man who is also divorce. I was brought to tears when i watched the movie. It was as though i had moved back in time.You see i had married at 18yrs and being naive the marriage went from bad to worse.It was not until recent that i have come to know the LORD JESUS CHRIST and have realised that HE has given me a second chance at happiness. After watching the movie i was so excited to tell my partner about it who by the way has been working in S.America for the past year.I promise to use the movie as a tool of guidance in this relationship and not make the same mistakes as before. I am prepared to take up the 40day love dare challenge. I CANNOT WAIT FOR HIM TO GET TO WATCH THIS INSPIRATIONAL MOVIE.

I will take it one day at a time.and know that as long as WE have God in our midst the enemy will NOT prevail.

LORELLE



5/21/2009
Hi my name is Amanda me and my husband nate will be married for 2 years in september and have an 8 month old! we have had our ups and downs and it has been hard. He has cheated on me and lied to me. and our marriage has been rocky from the beginning. We are doing the love dare together.. And it is definitly helping!! we aren't very far. But we are taking it slow trying to remember everything and trying to stay calm. Its hard at times. But we are doing well and hoping to get better!

amanda



5/21/2009
I started the love dare today. My boyfriend of four years decided to break things off with me on Monday and I have been so upset, lost, and pretty much just miserable. I tried talking to him about working on our relationship but he seems to think it should be over. I don't want to lose the one man I fell in love with. He is so right for me. I have never loved until I met him. So, today is Day One, Love is Patient. Since we don't live together I can't be around him all day to demonstrate patience, but I did call him and I told him how wonderful a person he is and that I love him. I think he might have been confused as to why I called to say this but I made sure he understood and I just told him this was part of something I had to do and not to shut me out of his life completely. I'm not sure how much or if he even misses me, but I definitely felt so much better after making that phone call this morning. I haven't been able to eat, sleep, or think straight since Monday. A little relief has come over me since I talked to him, even thought it was a short conversation. I can't wait for Day 2. I hope that I can continue this journey and learn to be a better person and make the man I have loved for four years realize we cannot be apart. Please pray for me as I follow this challenge.

Alyssa



5/20/2009
I have just wrapped up the 40 days. Through the journey I learned so much about myself and absolutely enjoyed the peace that has been in my heart knowing that the anger that I felt for so long is gone and that is through the grace of God. My husband and I have been separated since October of 2008 so it has been difficult to do some of the dares but I did the best that I was able to do. Until May 3rd I hadn't been wearing my wedding ring but since that day I have been. On May 1, 2009 my husband ended up in the Emergency room and ended up having Gall Bladder surgery the following week. That made me realize just the love I have for the man which I have had all along but with that everything else hit home. The surgery that was to only take a couple of hours took 4 hours. One of the longest days of my life. They ended up running into complications. I was able to help him as much as I could with us not living together, he wasn't able to come back to the house which I didn't really like but he needed to watch and care for his children. I did all that I was able to do for him and I enjoyed every single minute. I don't know where God's path is going to lead us because my husband is fighting this but no matter what happens in the plan I know that he is my husband and always will in my heart no matter what. There are so many worldly forces that are getting in the way. It is out of my hands and it is in God's. I have and will never have any regrets especially doing the 40 Day Dare. It taught me so much. It brought me back to God's love so that is the best thing that happened through doing this.




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