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My wife and I have been married a little over 5 years. Trust has been broken and I cant trust her. Which leads me to being very mean and not knowing how to love her correctly. I love her inside of me but my actions wont let me show it.
I've watched the movie a thousands times. So I figured why not try the book.
I've pushed my wife, the woman I love so dearly, so far away from me I dont know if she's willing to make this work. I know with God anything is possible. I'm ordering this book and then the day by day for a year in Hope's to teach me to love her thru my actions.
Lord knows I love her. I just need to show her.
I'll keep updates when book arrives and progress of healing.
My husband and I will be married for seven years this coming May 2018. This is the 3rd marriage for each of us. Each had lost a spouse to death and had also had a divorce because of infidelity from each of our spouses. We had a lot in common. In the first three years of our marriage we were so happy and in love. We had so much fun together enjoying each other. We served at our church together teaching Sunday school. We enjoyed going on vacations, road trips and visiting family. Our sex life was wonderful. Life was the best it had ever been. Then one day I discovered his secret world of pornography. It was by accident that I discovered it and I was devastated. Not only was he viewing it online but he had registered with sites and was communicating with women on these sites. I confronted him and of course he denied it at first. I told him I had too much proof and if he wanted to save our marriage he would have to admit what he had been doing and agree to go to counseling with our pastor. He finally agreed and we did go to counseling. Our pastor suggested that my husband attend a ministry in our Church called Celebrate Recovery.
It took several weeks for him to finally go to a meeting. But, when he did he found that with this ministry he could give his burdens and addictions to God. He has worked hard at his recovery. He has had relapses but continues to work hard at it. Since learning of his addiction I have grown further from him. I felt and feel like there is something he needs from the porn that I am not giving him. When we make love, I feel that he is fantasizing about other women. I have tried to overcome the feelings I have and even attended Celebrate Recovery for about a year. However it is an anonymous ministry and in open share time in my study group I could not share my true feelings because you can't discuss issues about other member of the ministry which my husband is a member of. Therefore I stopped going.
I still feel the same way at times but continue to pray about it. I decided to do the love dare on my husband in hopes that it would renew the love that we once shared. We still love each other but it is just not the same. I want that same wonderful love and joy that we once had. I want the intimacy back without the bad feelings I have. I know it is possible with God beside me and walking each day close to him. I will update as the love dare experience continues. Thanks.
My wife and I are both 25 yrs old and been married for 2 1/2 years. Back at the end of November 2017 is when my marriage took a drastic turn out of nowhere. My wife say she been depressed since I moved her up here to Tennessee in 2015. I know I'm far from perfect but I am trying to save my marriage. She wanted to go to marriage counseling back in 2016 but I said no because at that time, I had to much pride. After our 3rd baby was born June 2017, she had Postpartum Depression. Not to mention, I deployed in 2015 and 2017 for 6 months. I know that I was never giving her the attention like I should have been because I had a bad habit of being on the game system all the time. Once everything hit the fan, I immediately got rid of the game to focus on my marriage and her as well. She said it was just to late, but I told her it's never to late. She said she have been crying on so many nights without me knowing and I told her to please forgive me. Now, I cry because the woman of my life, who I just knew was the one for me, is walking out of my life without giving me a chance. All she want now is a divorce. Also, I been doing things I shouldn't be doing like snooping around to see if she is actually cheating. I know it's wrong, but I became very curious once she refuses to open up and talk about everything. Now she says that she will open up after she moves out the house so that way she won't have to see me or anything after that. I really need help because I'm just so confused, weak and depressed.
I WAS IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 12 YEARS AND HAD WATCHED FIREPROOF AND IT TOUCHED ME DEEPLY. MY RELATIONSHIP WAS NOT BAD BUT I FELT IT COULD BE BETTER. I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT THE BOOK AND FOLLOWED IT EVERYDAY REALIZING MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF ALONG THE WAY. I FELT WE WERE COMMUNICATING BETTER WITH EACH OTHER AND THAT THIS WAS AN AMAZING BOOK. ON THE 4OTH DAY I COMPLETED THE BOOK BUT MY WORLD WOULD SHATTER ON THAT DAY AS GOD CALLED MY PARTNER HOME SUDDENLY THAT VERY NIGHT. SINCE THAN I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO OPEN THAT BOOK. AS MUCH AS I WANT TO I JUST CANT BRING MYSELF TO DO IT.
THE BOOK IS POWERFUL AND I HAVE RECOMMENDED IT TO PEOPLE I HAVE SEEN STRUGGLING IN THERE MARRIAGE.
I have been married to my wife for seven years this past February 10th. I was an idiot who never saw the pain I had caused her or the control she lived under for so many years. Well about ten days before Christmas while sitting with a marriage counsellor she told me she was separating from me. She then proceeded to have me removed from the home. I deserved it as I hit my wife this past May, an action I will regret till my dying day. It has been 85 days that I have been out of our home. We have two daughters together and one from her previous marriage. Her parents have since moved in with her after selling their home. Now I am alone and missing the woman who made me smile every day.
I have been doing the Love Dare on and off, as it is hard since she has asked for space and time. I am on day 27, and although not done, I hope that she has noticed my actions. She has started communicating with me a little more, and although that is not saying much, something is better than nothing from her. I have learned how to love her unconditionally, and know that this is just the beginning. I will not give up on her nor the Dare. I found my life mate in her, and I found a belief that our marriage is a covenant, not a contract. I need to prove and show her every day that I am not the boy she married, but the man she needs in her life.
So does the Love Dare work? Yes, if you learn from it and understand that being selfless is part of loving someone. Right now I am a broken man, but I believe that God will provide for me the tools to last this storm. The Love Dare is one of the tools He has provided me. Thank you for your time in reading this, and I ask for your prayers and will pray for all that take the dare. God bless you all and bless my wife and family!
My name is Brittany, and for the last 3-4 months now my boyfriend and I have been battling it out against eachother because of Satan's tactics. I am 18 years old and he is 20.. We have been together for a year and 8 months. We have only been together for a short amount of time, but I knew from the moment that I met him he would be the one for me.. We had a plan to be married in just a couple of years, but now it is looking very unlikely for us, unless God sees otherwise.
But here the last few months our relationship has been in turmoil.
We had a fight in October that changed our whole relationship. I was selfish and I only cared about myself.. I was the cause. But ever since that night I havent been able to reclaim happiness in our relationship. My boyfriend has told me he has fallen out of love with me, and he doesnt know if he can ever fall back into love with me again. Amongst all of this, he deals with addictions. We have been unable to communicate for a long time, and I just feel like I do not please him or make him happy anymore. He doesnt see me as beautiful, and I fear he finds more pleasure in the porn than in me.
He is fighting so much with me, and he is also fighting within himself.
He has told me he feels God is not there for him anymore, and he just t wants to give up on everything.
I am so scared to lose him, because I do love him with all of my heart. I know that God could fix things for us and for our relationship. I have been praying and crying out for God's help during this time.
I would love to start the 40 Day Love Dare with him.
Please be praying for us.
I have been married for 19 years to the same wonderful woman with 2 boys 14 and 18. We went through a tough year where We were close to divorce. She was being inappropriate with others and I am unsure how far things went. I've become very angry and have had a hard time letting go of the past. She still has these other people in her everyday life and she knows it bothers me.am I wrong for wanting her to not associate with these people? If so how can I learn to let the past go?
My story in relations to the Love Dare is a little older, however, I am so very excited to have just found this site today.
In Jan of 2010 my husband filed for divorce. We owned the movie, "Fireproof" but hadn't watched it in a very long time. After a few weeks, I finally watched it and ended up going out immediately and buying the book, "The Love Dare". This book worked a miracle on my heart and my own relationship with God-- and by God's grace, my husband saw these changes in me. He ended up not following through with the divorce. Praise God! Unfortunately though life went on and we never followed through with the problems we had in our marriage and the things that had hurt us, so we never truly healed.
We became pregnant-- twice. But, since we hadn't worked through those things, in Oct 2011 he told me that he wanted a divorce again, but this time he was going to "follow through with it". I was 7 months pregnant with our second child and our son was only 10 months old. I was heartbroken and scared to death!
Very long story short, he had a girlfriend whom he ended up marrying, so it's been a very long, tiring, trying, and enduring, almost five years, but I never completely gave up! God kept telling me to just be patient and to just love them through it. When I finally started to give up this last year and I truly wanted to throw in the sticks, just a few weeks ago my boys and I flew to our hometown. On the first day, he explained to me that him and his now wife are getting divorced and this has been "the worst decision he's ever made!"
Since that day two weeks ago, God has shown me several different things, and I know our story is not finished. I am sharing this because I want to give any of you hope that the Love Dare really does work, and to never ever give up! Trust God and give it all to Him and He will lead you through this. It's definitely the hardest journey I've ever been through, but after running into this website today, I've decided to do the love dare again (except for mostly for myself, as I can't fully do it for him this time around). Give it ALL to God and lean on Him to get you through. He will fight for you and your marriage.
My husband and I recently moved to another state from our hometown less than a year ago. We have been married for almost 10 years and have an 8 yr old son. We married at a very young age and have since been through so many ups and downs. Just last year we decided to separate for a short period of time and decided to give it another shot. However, despite how happy we were for a few months, just a couple of months ago our marriage took a turn for the worse. We have been to separated less than a week and I feel like my world just shattered into little tiny pieces. I have been praying for both my husband and myself everyday and decided to download a prayer app in which a really nice person suggested I try the love dare. I am on day 4 and so far my husband has responded in a positive way however I am a little uneasy of the journey ahead of me as I am not sure if he will continue to respond the way he has been in the past few days. Even though I have been trying the love dare challenge, it is very difficult for to expect anything from him as things are so tense and complex. Despite it all, the love dare book as opened my eyes and has so far helped me understand some of things that have gone wrong within our relationship. Please pray for me and my family.
I have been with my husband for 3 1/2 years. We used to have the best time together. We could sit on the floor listening to music for hours and talk about anything and everything. Things started going downhill when I got pregnant. The day I found out, I lost my job, 2 months later, he lost his. That was 2 years ago and financially, we have been in a rut ever since. We had literally never had an argument until things turned way downhill and we were forced to move into my parents basement. We fought every day. We were intentionally saying things that would hurt the other and cause a fight. Usually the first words out of his mouth were something that would get me going. After a year of living in their basement, we finally were able to get our own place again. Financially, we are still hardly surviving. Our relationship has gotten a lot better than what it was but when we are exhausted, the hurt starts flowing. If I bite my tongue, he instigates until I finally snap and blurt it out. We both will make jabs at the other about having lovers on the side when neither of us do. We've just gotten so used to saying such awful things, that it is proving difficult to stop them from coming out. We aren't nearly as bad as some people who are doing this dare, but we could be so much better. Tomorrow is Day 1. He has no idea I am going to be doing this. I am hoping that with changing my own actions and strengthening my relationship with God, he will see the change and want to work on himself. Maybe towards the end I can leave my journal out where he can see it and hopefully he will want to do the dare himself.
My wife and I have been married for almost 4 years. We have had our ups and downs like everyone else but never knew how to recover from the downs. She got tired of always having downs and decided to give up and leave me. Saying to me she will always love me but doesn't love me the way a wife should love her husband. This crushed me. The downs were always my fault and I never thought I was hurting our relationship until it was to late and she left. We have a 2 year old son and it kills me seeing him so confused asking his mom where his daddy is. I was told of The Love Dare by a family member and wanted to try it. I'm on day 30 and she hasn't responded to me. But I will not give up on the dares and on my family. We aren't in the same state and it's hard to do the dares. I do the once I can and pray for the once I can't. This journey not only has helped me open my eyes to what I have been doing wrong in my marriage but it has also brought me closer to God. I have learned that without God, real unconditional love is impossible to have. I pray to Him every day and ask Him to allow me to show my wife and son the kind of love I have learned that only comes from God. Even though she doesn't like to hear it I will always love her. I will never give up on my journey and I hope neither will you. I ask everyone out there to pray for me and my family as I will do the same for you. Thank You.
Loving husband and father.
My fiance and I ended on NYE 2016, at first I told myself it's his loss and I can quickly date a and forget about him. Boy was I wrong, I was not able to sleep or spend a moment without thinking of him. I prayed and lasted weeks with no contact. I called him up and told him I loved him, and to let's start from zero. He agreed to think about it and let me know, I asked God to only allow him to call me back if it wad coming from HIM, so he called, it's been a month, at first all signs pointed to an easy getting back, but now he is back to being distant and cold, so I decided to do this 40 day love day, today is my day 13. I fell so much pain as I am loving someone who isnt saying anything and i want to give up. Lord has shown me, that HE loved me when i didnt so that helps me want to love my ex as I should. Please pray for this journey of ours.
Have you ever had the feeling you just need to shut up? Well I am at this point after 17 years with my husband and 9 years marriage. When I look back on these times I feel mostly ashamed of my behavior especially as I am a follower of Christ. I have not reflected His love to my husband at all times. I have been looking for him to change rather than me being the one who does the change. I've chased religion and despaired at my husbands unwillingness to submit to The Lord. The more I preached the more he has dug his heels in. After a separation in 2010 I decided to do this love dare but only did day one. Like Jesus said I lacked any root system and the word didn't bear any fruit. I think I had to get to the end of myself and actually I am fed up of me!! I desperately need healing, I am broken and tried to patch up my brokenness with my religious works of reading the Bible, praying, studying.
I am ready now and I do hope that I still have time to fulfill this. My greatest wish is that I will complete it too. I think in loving another The Lord will minister to us and heal our brokenness. The song by casting crowns comes to mind. Broken together.
This week before I was led to the 40 day love dare I have been getting psalm 46 be still and know that I am God. How amazing to find that he's not starting with my husband but me. Of course I realise this won't happen unless I put this whole process on the Rock. This is why I will be rededicating my life to The Lord at the same time and giving Jesus a tenth of my time each day on my knees seeking His face in the secret place. I believe His reward will be a saved me, a saved husband and a saved marriage. As His word says if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and turn from their wicked ways I will hear from heaven and heal their land. 2 chronicles 7 14.
I would to encourage other users of love dare to do this too. Believe me I've tried the other way and it doesn't work. Seek first His Kingdom and all the other things shall be added unto you.
I also appreciate any prayers fellow brothers and sisters can lift up as will I pray for all of those dear ones pressing in the live dare too.
My this year of 2016 see kingdom marriages rising up after years of enemy attacks to see our men being the men The Lord called them to be and women being the women The Lord called them to be for His great great Glory Amen.
My husband and I have been Married for almost 8 years (Feb 9). We have been struggling for a while. I think we are both just so very stubborn. I want to be cared for and loved, he wants the same. Our vision of such are on different planets. He does not come from a family of I love you, hugs and kisses. I do. I love the feeling of a loving hug. Long story short. We choose do this journey together (he has not started yet he is a hug procrastinator, clash of clans first (another story another day maybe). I have stated 'traditions' of the day for loving each other. I don't always want to lead in this and to date I have (day 6) but he is giving in more to it. So maybe with the help and strength that God gives me .. I can finish this project.. this dare... and be a better person, wife, daughter, mother, and follower of God. God bless!
I was addicted to porn also talking to women online along with texting them, exchanging pictures. My wife found out in March 2015 so we separated for a few weeks. I was lying about the fact that I was still do that stuff but then in May 2014 something drastically happened to make me stop. On July 4th my wife discovered an email that I had made a copy of and became very angry with me. We have now been separated the second time since July 5, 2014. We did a couple of sessions of counselling but that ended. She has not forgave me and is still very angry. I am now on day 70 in the Love Dare book and have gave my heart to the Lord back in late July. Last Sunday, 01/17/2016, I asked my wife if there was any hope for our future. She replied, "no". I then told her that we need to start planning for our divorce. I still pray multiple times a day that God will show his mercy on our marriage. To heal my wife and restore my marriage. This last week has been filled with sorrow and happiness. She's made a lot of comments that I wouldn't expect someone to make if it was really over... I have not given up and pray that God's will, will be done in my marriage. It's tough but I have made a commitment that I will become that best husband that God would want me to be. Now it is up to him to provide the woman that I am to be this husband to. He hates divorce so I am pretty sure it will end up being my wife.. Thank you Lord for being such a forgiving father, a merciful father..
Hi I have been with my fiancÚ now for five years but I have known him for 13 yrs , we have a 12 yr old daughter together and I love so much that is way I am do this 40 day challenge to show him and prove to him how much I care about him and love him , yes we have are ups and downs ... so what I'm asking is prayer ... thank you Mary
My wife and I have been married for 19 years, and 22 all together. Since 2009 we have had our share of ups and downs. A lot of the downs have been my fault. We have two girls ages 11 and 7 who we both love very much. My wife and I are separated right now and have been since December 13th. My heart hurts for her and my girls! We worked through some issues, but we have really hit the low point. I want to fix our marriage and our family. I need help, and I saw fireproof last night, I have seen the movie several times. But, last night I paid attention to the 40 day challenge the dad asked his son to do. I want to try this and prove to her I love her.
I need help. I'm desperate. My husband and I have lived apart since March. I went to file for a divorce, but I couldn't finish it. So I've tackled the Love Dare. I'm on Day 2. I'm scared. He says he doesn't know what he wants. I think he's seeing someone. We have three little girls that just want their family back together. His heart is hard, he hasn't stepped foot in a church in I don't know how long, but he was raised in church. I can't lose my husband. I can't lose my marriage.
I've been married for 19 years we have 3 children and in the beginning it was beautiful best friends,lovers,my safe haven, we laughed, talked about everything I mean my heart use to beat at the sound of his voice now I don't know our daughter had surgery before thanksgiving sat in the waiting room for 8hrs barely speaking children did change things a little well alot but it's draining my husband doesn't clean up after himself, takes days to do anything, always wanting to be with his friends the only thing we have in common is sex, never takes me anywhere, or be concerned when I'm sick or sad like we're friends with benefits....
My husband had asked me to do this a few months ago. I told him no unless he would do it with me. I had wanted him to be in the process but really just wanted him to change. And not me. I am a terrible nag and have gone through medicines for depression. I realize that what I saw as distancing and coldness was him reacting to me trying to change him and nag him so he ran away. He was finally able to tell me this, but also that he was done. I would never change. He says that nothing will change the divorce. But I am praying and want God to change me and help me do the little things he hates. Pray for us. He has been so cold for so long. And I don't have a lot of hope.