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11/5/2009
where to start??? october4th is the day my world came crashing in on me. i found out several things about my husband. first that he is a sex addict, and has been having afairs with girls he hasmet at online dating services as well as using prostitution. he addmited he has been doing this for years!
i asked for a divorce- cheating is a deal breaker to me- he refused to give me a divorce and to leave the house- says he knows we can work this out. so now we are in marriage counsling- individual counsleing and he attends SAA(sex addicts annomous)meetings every week, we go to church every sunday and we devote an hour at the end of the day to talk.
we saw the movie fireproof. yes it did hit a nerve or two for both of us- frankly if we are to do the book- it will be very easy for me- i do most of it already as it is- for him, i know it will be a struggle- mainly because he has no clue how to communicate his feelings to anyone, much less me.
i do wish for my marriage to work out- but with so much betrayal, abandoment, lies i just dont know how to wrap my head around it all.
its nice to read all of the other posts, knowing so many are faced with some of the same problems.
i pray we all find our paths god has for us.
Kim
11/4/2009
I was married for 18 years with the father of my two children. We divorced 5 years ago, he asked me for a divorce. At first I was devastated, angry, sad, but I did agreed and we ended our marriage. I watched the Fireproof Movie about 6 months ago. I had recommended this movie to all of my friends. I wish that I had that movie when during the beginning of my relationship with my ex-husband. I had completed the 40 dare journal to get closer to God. This was the most valuable experience for me and I do recommend for anyone to do the 40 day dare as well.
My ex-husband is now asking for the Annulment of the Catholic Marriage. I am devastated that he feels that our marriage was not valid. I have a long and hard fight ahead but with the help of God, I know that everything is possible. Please pray for my family.
God Bless You!
JBG
Jackie
11/3/2009
My wife came home from her mothers yesterday and told me she doesn't love me anymore and wants out. We're both 21 and have only been married for 11 months. She told me awhile ago she still had feelings for her ex, but she says that thats not why shes leaving. She says shes just not happy. Honestly I have been doing everything I can to make sure shes happy. It might just be the fact that I'm currently unemployed and she is stressed out. I don't know what to ask you to pray for... I just ask you to pray that I can make her happy and convince her to stay, or if it is God's will that our divorce is civil and quick.
Lance
11/3/2009
I am close to finishing my 40 days. When I began, my wife had some major trust issues with me. The movie, Fireproof, was basically us. In the beginning, she ignored me. She did not want to make eye contact. She also wanted absolutely no physical contact. My saving grace was that she still treated me well in front of our 3 year old son. Anyhow, I started the dares, which were very difficult at first. Finding the time wasn't easy. After a few days in, however, I noticed a difference. I was getting less angry and frustrated. I was slowly changing. A more rounded individual. A better husband.
Some days were difficult. Calling my wife when she didn't want to talk did not go over well. Not saying 1 negative thing was very hard. Asking questions knowing that she is gonna rip me up and down and I just have to take it was not fun at all.
Then about 3 weeks into the Dare, I started to really look forward to each day. I was reading more. I wanted to complete each task. I wanted to be better. I liked who I was becoming. I enjoyed being creative and cooking supper. I recently bought a key chain with "Anything is possible with God" on the back. Also, I purchased a daily, inspirational calendar.
As I am finishing up the Dare, I am proud to say that my wife and I are doing really well. We are communicating more. We are open and honest. Throughout the process, she did not make me look like the bad guy in front of our son. She continued to support me and my endeavors. We are planning on having real dates and spending time together....just the 2 of us. Also, we are very much looking forward to our 8 year anniversary.
I say believe in yourself. Trust the process. And stay focused on your goals.
"With God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
Ryan
11/2/2009
I ask Prayers for my husband of 3 1/2 yr.. We hva ebeen together near 6yrs now ( as of Nov 25th, 2009) He says He still loves me/ has a love for me..yet He says He''s not sure if It''s enough...When we met it was as if We''d known one another all our lives.. This is Both of our Fourth marriage.. I have to believe He is not only my husband in Gods eyes..but my Lifelong partner..I have let ( things n online people) get in the way of me nurturing Out marriage..We are into SCA( Medieval reenactments) since Most of the events are on weekends, We liked going..sadly there was least 2 times I wasnt working n decided not to go...He went alone..Please...I Must believe God can n will restore..The Love we had n even it maybe better....Thank You...
Eve
10/31/2009
My wife we have been married for 4 and half years blessed with 2 daughters.Currently we are separated for the past 3months she left me because of I lost my job and things have been thick for us financially.it even forced me to move back to my parents house before I could be stable and find a place of my own.I found out that she has an affair with someone that i know.initially she was so hursh n cold towards me but of late she has started softening up.I have praying to the Lord for restoration of our marriage.I love a her and I need her back.I have been walking with my pastor during this trying moment and he adviced me Fire proof which I saw yesterday and am already Fired up to make the neccessary adjustments to bring her back home.Kindly pray for us.Thanks
Nobert
nobert
10/30/2009
I just came home from church where I watched the movie Fireproof. I am a Man and I cried the whole time because everything in that movie was me and my fiancee. At the moment she is not my fiancee. We are no longer engaged as she broke it off with me 2 weeks ago because she got tired of not being able to trust me for my addictions and my character. In our hearts we were married and wore rings. I love her with every thing I have. She says that she wants time and space for us each to date and time for me to get myself together. She says I am not marrage material and we both have said many horrible things to eachother. She sys she dont want to work it out and I do. Everything in the movie. I am now hurting and she probably is too and I don't know where tostart as we both are now moving out of the house we shared together. I really would like her to see the movie and take the love dare. I will see her on Monday and ask her if she has anything left in her to at least watch the movie. I pray that she forgives me for me not living up to what she wants me to be and that soon we come back together and finish what we started and finally get married in the presence of GOD. Please pray for us.
Thank You,
Ben
Ben
10/29/2009
I filed for divorce in anger at my husband to try to get his attention. He told me his was done with our marriage and that he could not make me happy. I was angry and I filed. Now he is mad and bitter and now God has spoke to me to stand for my marriage. I have ask for counseling and any other help that we need. He has a co worker who he has been very close friends for the last three years and I know it is the enemy that is destroying my marriage. He will not talk or speak to me. It is like he is perfectly fine with his life without his daughter and I. I am doing the love dare, but it is hard to do when he will not communicate with me at all unless it deals with our little gir.
I pray for his callas heart to be changed to a heart of flesh.
I wish he would wacth the movie or do the Love dare.
Stacie
stacie
10/28/2009
Erik and I have been married for five years this month, and we have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I found out in August that Erik has been having an affair with a co-worker for the last year. Each day of the last two months has been different. We've been in counseling since the week I found out. I've come close to leaving Erik, but have chosen to stay. My relationship was not great before he had the affair, and I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that maybe this was how marriage was. You got into a rut, and just got used to being there, and didn't try really hard to get out....of the marriage or the rut.
I'm done with the rut, but I'm not giving up my marriage. We've rededicated ourselves to eachother and have decided that this marriage is worth saving. I heard about Love Dare and Fireproof from a friend, and I have to say, I'm hooked. I'm excited to read the book and learn more, and I'm excited to rediscover my best friend and recommit myself to the man I love.
Stacey
Stacey
10/27/2009
I have been married 8 1/2 years and have three beautiful children ages 6, 4, and 2. My huband and I have been on a rocky road for some time now. I have been fed up many times and thought of divorce. I often wonder if I made a mistake thinking this man that I love so much was my soul mate. A few weeks ago, we had a whole weekend of fighting. I told him that I loved him but I would not stay in a loveless marriage...he did not seem to care. Over the course of the weekend I discovered that he has been corresponding to another woman via texts/emails from his hometown for the last three months. Bashing me and telling her our marital secrets (he does not see anything wrong with this). I went in my room and prayed for God to help me to make the right decision... know what to say. I decided thst if we were to be divorced, I wanted to be able to tell my children that I tried my best to make it work and I killed him with love and kindness so to speak. Over these last two weeks, a friend of mine told me about the movie Fireproof and the book The Love Dare. I bought it and started to read it and probably completed Dares 1-3 without ever reading the book. I feel very much that the Lord has answered my prayers and showed me the book without showing me the book... I feel renewed knowing that I have God on my side when I asked him to be to help save my marriage. Now only time will tell.
Patti
10/27/2009
My husband and I have been married for only 2 months. It feels like so much longer! we met almost 2 years ago at function at my church! We began dating just a couple weeks after meeting and a couple months after that we started talking about getting married! We just knew we were ment to be! His parents didn't share our enthusiasm! Then shortly after that I found out he had cheated on me! He CONSTANTLY lied to me! I knew in my heart that we were ment to be and I knew I loved him with my whole heart! Over time I began to trust him more and as we began to plan our wedding we grew closer together and closer to God than ever before.. Then we got married.. it was the most beautiful day of my life!! I then felt like all of our hard work paid off!! The week after our wedding my husband lost his job, we moved in with my inlaws, my other in law sent a NASTY letter to my mom and my whole family turned on me due to the letter! The first 2 months of marriage has been the hardest most difficult time! All I keep thinking is that this is not how it's supposed to be! This has made me doubt my marriage and my husband! I know that this is just the enemy speaking to me! I DO NOT believe in casual divorce! I believe when you get married it's for life!! I just don't know what to do! Today my husband and I watched fireproof just like many times before it has touched my heart, only today something pierced my heart as we sat there.. I KNOW ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE with GOD!!! So we are going to start a step in a new direction.. we ask that you PLEASE PRAY FOR US!!
Alyssa
10/26/2009
My husband and I have been married since 3-1-05 we have been through alot the last couple years, we have been sperated off and on since 6-06 going back in forth last yr we seperated for 10 months with out speaking to each other but we got back together in feb and the again sep in june of this yr (09) I realized this last time that he is the man i want to grow old with and be with forever I havent known how or where to begin to fix our problems because there is so many of them we both have cheated when apart and we both had the drug scenes in our life and there was a time when abuse was there I know we have both come along way since all this and have began to just be best friends again I feel closer to him now than ever before he lives in austin and I live in houston but yet we find time in our busy lives to talk to each other all the time we have 2 children who are suffering from our seperation one lives with him (he is 4) one lives with me he is 6) its causing problems with them I know my heart wants to be there but the trust issue is hard between the two of us and I have recently been put on probation for my stupid acts and I have a job here. I dont know what to do if Everyone can please pray for us we really need it please! I have been telling him about this Movie (I found out through church Which I have been going to or trying to faithfully! Also I go to my church's RUI program (reformu.com) in case anyone in there marriage has that issue u can find a local church who has it it also is christian based which is for people with addictions since me and him both have struggled with that) He has promised to look into it I am hoping that this will bring us even closer because I know that I am only 22 (he is 30) yrs old but he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with he is an awesome father and just a great person I had forgotten why I loved him so much until this last year, I had a breakdown when he had split up and turned to drugs and partying to be numb from the pain I didnt talk to him nfor 10 months and I called him up and told him my problem and he took me back and let me go get straight and be with both my kids when im with him I dont ever want to do anything like that when we are together, but Like I was saying I realized when we got back together that he did LOVE ME its like he had to lose me and me lose him to realize what its like without each other, I dont ever want to be apart I cam back down in june over 1 argument the day before my birthday it was stupid but we still have stayed in contact talking all the time. I Think that this Love Dare would work between us I have already started my relationship with god during this whole thing and I know we have been through so Much and its made us stronger friends than ever that we are truely meant to be together, I would just like everyone to please pray for my family to reunite together if we can make it through this I know that every marriage can its just how much u want to put into it, I know one thing no matter what my marriage turns out I know that my heart will always belong to him. (Jason I love u and Im sorry for everything I have put you through and I Pray every night that it wont be long for us to be back together I am so sorry for taking you for granted if you allow me back in your life I promise you I will show you everyday how much you mean to me as we grow old together!)
Jessica
Jessica
10/26/2009
My husband and I have married for 17 years. Last year I found someone else in my life. I had an affair and feel so ashamed about it. Most of all I feel ashamed with my children. My husband is a great man and a great father and for a minute there I lost love for him. Not until it hit me that I wasn't myself, I didn't even recognised me! I ended the affair and decided to give my marriage another chance. My husband agreed but he said he was never going to forgive me and he could never bring himself to telling me I love you again. This hurt so much because I had just found the love for him that was lost for a while. One day he woke up and said everyone get ready we are going to church. We had never been much of faith but I was willing to do anything to help. Which brings us to where we are now. I found the love of God, and I pray everyday that he forgives me and that he brings my husband to forgive me and to tell me that he loves me again. Please pray for him and for us. I have a lot of faith and patience and I know the Lord is with us every step of the way.
Liliana
10/22/2009
My Husband and I have been married for almost 14 years, we have a 10-years-old son. Last summer I found that he had fallen in love with a waitress. I really got mad and felt hurt. Now he requested to divorce and wanna make it official before the new year......
Since I found that romantic affair, I begged him to come back. however, his heart is not with us. Sometimes I am still in doubt that he is still with her. I can't forgive him for the betrayal. I suffered from the loneliness and disappointment. I look up to GOD for HIS help to save my marriage. But it did not work out.............
Jenny
10/22/2009
My wife and i have been married for four years. When we first go married i cheated on her and was not there emotionally for the fallout of the situation. For the three years following, i was neither patient nor kind. A few months back while she was in Iraq she began a relationship with another individual, i found this out when i was in Afghanistan. She has recently told me that she is still in love with him and want to separate. I decided to try the love dare. PLEASE pray for us that it works!!!! Thank you!!
10/22/2009
My wife and I have been married 7yrs and have two beautiful girls. We separated a few weeks ago and she said she is done and has made up her mind. I left out of anger and frustration after she told me if I walked out the door it was over. I feel like I can never make her happy no matter what I do. I dont yell or cuss at her. I have always treated her with respect. I dont drink or smoke. I go to work and come home to my family. I help with the cooking cleaning and taking care of girls. I strayed away from God and her a few years ago and started talking to another girl. I almost wanted to get caught because I wanted her attention. It seems like I am always the last thing on her mind. I am the one who calls or text her during the day to see how she is doing or just picking up lunch for her or buying that little something special to brighten her day. Every holiday I love to go all out and see her smile when she opens her gift. It makes me feel so good. When it comes to Fathers day, Birthdays Christmas etc. for me I am either flat out ignored or its done at the last minute with the attitude of I guess I have to. This was the main reason I strayed a few years ago. This Fathers day she was so worried about throwing going away party for girl at work and didnt get me anything for Fathers day. I would have loved for her just to have girls make me a card or something little. I feel so selfish when I get these feelings but it hurts to no end wondering and backtracking everyday searching for something said or done wrong. I was so jealous of my brother in law who is a lying cheating abusive alcoholic to my sister. my sister did all kinds of things for him. I lied to friends and family about what she got me for Fathers day so she would not look bad. My birthday rolled around august 30th and again last minute gift a cheap coffee pot. What? I dont drink coffee. Again, my mind went back to searching for the moment that I did something wrong. I started to build my walls around my heart and mind and getting same feelings of desperation for attention again. I was not going to stoop to that level again and go behind her back. She asked me to be honest with her and I told her I was unhappy and explained why. Of course, she brings up past and I dont expect her to forgive me in so little time. She gave me ultimatum and I let my pride get best of me. I left. I love her with all my heart. I dont eat or sleep. Ive lost about 20lbs since separated because nothing stays down. I remember seeing her in high school and realizing she was the one. She didnt know I existed until a few years later. I asked her if she wanted book and said she didnt know but it was better than no, so I left copy in her car one morning and when I go in the morning to get my girls ready for school I see a bookmark in it. I am on day 4 and trudging along wondering when she will start it. I have to learn to be patient and give her some space. Some conversations are good and some she just wont even talk to me. She asked me to stop saying I love you and being nice to her. Its hard not to say I love you but I respected her wishes. I wont be mean to her and will do the Love Dare no matter what. I am by no means a holyroller and I am learning again to let God take control of this. My girls need to have their mom and dad together. I dont want us to be another stat. She is the one I want to grow old with. I pray every night and alot during day asking God for forgiveness and all I want is for her to be happy even if that means us not being together. I know we were meant to be together. please pray for my family.
10/21/2009
Last night during a DivorceCare meeting, several people suggested the book Love Dare to me. We've been married for 4 1/2 years and have a 2 yr-old daughter. It has been one month since my wife made her intentions to divorce me clear. She plans to move out of our house on December 1st which is exactly 40 days away. I found this to be more than just coincidence, so I stopped by the bookstore on the way home and picked up Love Dare. Before I heard about this book I was dreading the next 40 days, but now I'm looking forward to the opportunity to show my wife the love that we've been taking for granted these last few years. Today is Day 1...
Jason
10/20/2009
We have been married for 10 years. About 6 months ago he told me he was not "in love" with me anymore. Then he wanted to talk about our relationship in a worst case senario. We then did not talk about it for 3 months. They we talked again last week. He does not want to try counciling. He does not even seem to try. I had accepted the marriage thinking that this is just how he is - no displays of affection. I was ignoring the obvious. I just finished watching Fireproof and am going to start reading the Love Dare tonight. I know he is not totally to blame but I won't give up.
Victoria
10/20/2009
Hi,
Like many of you my marriage is failing, or it feels like it. I am young only 21 and have been married 3 years this February to a guy who used to be my best friend. We have 2 children less than a years apart, both toddlers. He was such a great guy at first and it was me who would scream and yell and say horrible things to him. I suffer from severe mental illness... schizophrenia. It makes our marriage worse than it is. Once we got married he started to become violent and the roles switched. Now he calls me the horrible names and says I'm worthless and I do nothing. The worst part about it is that everyone is watching. Everybody knows because less than a year ago we lost both of our children when I called the cops on him during an argument and our house was a disaster. I made the mistake of bailing him out with him promising to be better. He was when we made our first move in december. our second move, signing a new lease on our 2 year anniversary is when trouble started. Since then, there is no good. I suspect him of selling pills, I drink regularly, we both argue constantly, he hits and I hit, I even made the mistake of thinking that better could be as close as down the street and began a too-close relationship with his best friend, our neighbor. He still doesn't know everything. We watched the movie together. Suggested it to many in trouble like us. He refuses to have any part of it saying we are just fine and things will be better and that he will change. It never happens. I'm doing this on my own hoping that if I just change maybe he will too, and maybe it will last and maybe... just maybe, if we can remember how to be friends again then the rest of it will just come natural like it did in the beginning. wish me luck, I'm really going to need it.
10/19/2009
My husband and I have been married almost 7 years. For the past two years I have been unhappy with myself. All this time he has tried to make me happy and he feels like he has failed. We have grown apart and just need to get back to us. I saw the movie and immidiately bought the book. I don't want to give up on us. I don't want our two girls to have only a mom or a dad at certain times of the week. He has proved these last two years how much he has and does love me. Now it is my turn. I hope that reading this and doing the dare proves to him that I have always loved him. I hope this also helps me be the wife that God intended for me to be.
Laura
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