STORIES
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11/28/2009
Ive been married for 7 years..we have a daughter, she is 6 yr old now..we are both christians..on the 3rd yr of our marriage he started womanizing, i cant bear it, he always pushing me away and he always telling he did not love me anymore and he found the girl he wanted...so we got separated on Oct. 2006.. year 2007 he wanted to go back but i refused because i did not trust him anymore and im still hurting..but on 2008 i came to know that he has gotten the girl pregnant, im lost and my heart shattered..i ask God to vindicate me but seems they are happy with what they are doing..this 2009 late august my husband called me thru cellphone that he wanted to go back to us..i told him that he should separate with the girl but seems that he cant do it and he is not decided..and it hut me even more...please pray for us..that my husband can stand his grounf for jesus..that may God change his heart and surrende his life to jesus..please for me to contnue to trust God..
shiela
11/24/2009
My name is Britney. I am 21 and my husband is 25. We have been together since I was 17. It was love at first sight. I knew from the first moment I saw him that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But from day 1 our relationship has been a constant chain of battles and challenges. My family didn't like him and his family hated me. When we became pregnant I was 18 and just out of high school. We weren't married and everyone around us didn't approve. Neither of us had a steady job and we fought so much we ended up splitting up. For months he tortured me... these are his words. He said every cruel thing he could think of just to push me away. Then all of the sudden he wanted me back. I was so young and in love and scared to death of having a baby on my own so I took him back without a second thought. We got married shortly after our son was born. Unfortunately we never worked out the problems that we had before we got married.
My husband goes through cycles. I can't predict them and I never know how long they are going to last, how bad they will get, or what will bring them on. Our relationship will be perfect one day and then the next he won't talk to me, kiss me, hold my hand or make love to me. He becomes cold, distant and mean. I just don't know what to do when this happens. So, I started reaching out. I would get affection from anyone who would give it to me. Mostly just harmless flirting over the phone or at work. At least until a couple of days ago. I pushed it too far in my desperation to receive the attention I needed so badly. I slept with another man.
I know how wrong my action was. I know there is nothing that I can do that will ever make up for the hurt that I have caused my husband. Out of respect for my husband I told him about what I had done. He needed to know that I had been unfaithful so that he could protect himself in the event that I brought anything home from my affair. The reaction I got was not the one I expected. He was angry at first. The word divorce was thrown around. And then he started talking about how he knew his actions had played a part in forcing me into another mans arms. How it was time for him to learn to open up and be the supporting and affectionate husband I deserved.
At first I didn't know what to think about how he was acting. I wasn't sure if it would last. I wasn't sure if he wouldn't just change his mind and kick me to the curb. Then he kissed me and cradled my face in his hands. He said, "Britney, I love you more than anything. I forgive you for what you did." Then I remembered a few months back we watched the movie Fireproof. I made a promise to him. I said " I promise to make you fall in love with me all over again. I promise to make you remember why you fell in love with me in the first place." And we discussed purchasing the love dare. We are both now fully committed to completing it and making our relationship better and stronger than it has ever been. I thank God for bringing this man into my life. I will do whatever it takes to fix us. Pray for us as we begin our journey. I know I'll be praying.
Britney
11/23/2009
I feel ashamed to admit it, but I'm in my fourth marriage. That seems tough to believe, since I was such a "good girl" growing up and had fierce plans to avoid my parents' bad choices. But here I am. The difference this time is my husband and I share a strong and persistent faith in God. That saves our marriage from soooo many of the pitfalls that I weathered before! But it doesn't save us from me. I have grown selfish habits through the years that don't serve me or our marriage well. Anyway, my husband doesn't know that I've begun The Love Dare. I'm on Day 16 and never dreamed I would learn so much about myself along the way. I have a LOT to change if I don't want to weaken our strong marriage! I'm writing about the Love Dare experience for a national women's magazine and you're welcome to come read. It's at http://skirt.com/getaclewis/blog/love-dare. Just please don't judge me for my crankiness. I'm working on it.
Cheryl
11/18/2009
My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and a 16 month old son. Our marriage has been very very hard. I have a very devoted husband but the enemy was constantly attacking our marriage. We bought the Fire Proof Your Marriage DVD and watched it. We both cried and broke down in front of each other. The feeling of fireproof your marriage did not last long. Fighting continued. Alot of heart ache was caused and divorce was discussed. We both then re-surrendered our lives to Jesus Christ and made the decision that: We cannot change our spouses or partners. We can only allow God to change ourselves. This change of thinking and way of life HAS helped. I thank God each day for restoring my marriage. We are currently on Day 4 of The Love Dare. This morning I walked to my car and there was a chocolate on the roof of my car with a note from my husband saying "thank you for all you do for me and I love you so much". This brought tears to my eyes. All I would like to say is KEEP YOUR EYES FOCUSED ON JESUS CHRIST. I know this is very hard as life is unfair and throws obstacles but I have realised that without God, NOTHING IS POSSIBLE.
Jesus, I just want to dedicate this story to my husband and say "I love you so much". I thank you so much for wanting to sort our marriage out and everything you have done for me and our children. I am so blessed to know you WANT to love Jesus and serve Him with all of you. Thank you for loving me. Sorry for all the good times we have lost over fighting and hurt and anger but now we walk together for 40 days and forever more.
11/14/2009
My name is Jennifer I have been married for only 3 years but we have been together for 5. We still got married too fast I think. He was 27 and I was 21 when we got married.
I have a girl from a previous relationship she's 8 (i was 15 young i know but the best
thing I ever did). We also have a boy 15 months old. He has 2 boys from a previous
marriage, they dont live in the same city anymore.
We have been having issues since about 2 or 3 months into our relationship. That was
the honeymoon phase it was perfect, perfect first kiss, first date, he was perfect, i was
perfect. He opened doors for me, I always thought of him first. You know...Then that stopped and he because extremely mentally abusive, I inturn felt trapped and decided the only way out would be to cheat on him and get him to leave me. So I did, I have never felt worse in my whole life and have not and will not do that again. If not to him, then I refuse to do it to myself. Needless to say it has been a fight ever since then and we both do just enough to get by. I still feel however like he is mentally abusive to me, I have been praying so much and so hard I'm almost out of words. Sometimes I wonder if its even worth it, but I just keep on praying.
He has an addiction to his computer and his games, he wouldnt say he does but he has had it since before I even came along. When he gets off work he plays his game from 5- 1 or 2 in the morning EVERY night im not kidding. On weekends it from the time he gets off till the time he goes to bed. He even watches porn on it. This didnt use to be an issue for me until this morning I woke up and saw it on the monitor, and the thought just popped into my head why cant he just wake me up when hes in the mood. His computer is his mistress and now hes sleeping with his computer im just the person who does his laundry raises the kids, and cooks his meals. Im his house keeper/ nanny and thats all. We got into a fight and he said hes not talking me until Im ready to discuss divorce, I told him Im not talking about that because its not an option I didnt marry him just to get a divorce. He walked away and said well I guess you can come talk to me when youre ready to talk about divorce and he hasnt said anything since then. He wont even look at me.
For Valentine's this year I bought my husband and I the love dare book and Fireproof movie. We started the dare immediately but didnt finish it I think we only made it a week. I quit doing it because my husband wasnt responding, (foolish mistake) and he was making it into a competition and I hate competing with him. Marriage isnt a competition especially during a time like this, it's not about who does it better its about why youre doing it, and that you stick with it. I was wrong to give up, I shouldve kept going regardless of what my husband was doing.
However, I have decided to restart it and focus on it this time and not give up. Our marriage has gotten worse, we have gone to marriage counseling with our preachers, we have talked...sort of. I dont know what else to do. He wants things his way and I want things my way. I dont know how to get him to meet in the middle, I'm willing to compromise but hes not he has made that clear. Now instead of fighting when I start to get heated and tell him what I think of the way he treats me he says "Ok not talkiing to you anymore", then proceeds to ignore me for days even weeks until I come to him and apologize; all the while im hoping I apologize the way he wants so that I dont get ignored anymore.
I sure am tired of all of this Im tired of feeling abandoned, left behind and drug through the trenches. Im mentally exhausted, I dont know how much more I can handle. I cant take hiding it from people anymore I dont tell anyone about this anymore because they dont understand why Im still here and its almost embarassing to disclose that my life is this bad.
So here's to praying that God helps me with my marriage, Id love my husband and I to have a good life for once.
Jennifer
11/12/2009
Ok two years ago I got married, we did marry hastily as we only knew each other for 6 months before marrying. I had a child from a previous relationship that my husband accepted 100 percent as his own, which is such a blessing as my son had no contact with his biological father. We got married and moved to his home town far from my famly, friends, support group etc. After only three months of marriage he said he did not love me and wanted a divorce. I was crushed, I had given up my life, job, hometown, friends family etc to be with my husband. I was in a place where I had nobody. I begged and pleaded to go to counselling and try fix things and he staedfatly refused! So we carried on staying in the same house but seperate bedrooms for a couple months. It was hell on earth, he barely even greeted me. The tension was terrible but I refused to move back to my hometown as I believed I had to fight for my husband, the man I made vows too. He then served me with divorce papers and I refused to sign them. During those couple months there were a few times where we were intimate and the Lord blessed us with a baby. Which I believed saved our marriage. A few months into the pregnancy he decided he was going to try make things work and moved back into our bedrom. It was very difficult as we had both become so cold and distant due to the "seperation" especially him and he is already a very cold man, which has always been my fight with him, i need affection and love, I'm a woman. Anyway slowly but surely we seemed to be what I would consider happy as I had always my whole life been in destructive relationships and this semed the least destructive of them all. Baby was born and everything was still happy happy. Our baby is now 10 months old and things are getting bad again, really bad. We fight all the time, he is never prepared to talk about our problems and find solutions to fixing them, he has gone cold again and distant. Sometimes he will go a whole week withot talking to me. Our sex life has always been good though and last week I walked in on him "getting himself off" in front of the tv! I did not quite know how to process it all, I seemed so betrayed and still feel like that. He refuses to talk about it. Anyway from last week things are now quickly rollercoasting downhill and I am feeling desperate.. I am a born again believer and he says he is but does not fully dedicate himself. I have grown so much with the Lord the last couple months and always feel i'm being pulled back because my husband is not commited.
We bth watched fireproflast night, shew, what a great movie, I cried and it looked like he had a lump in his throat, think it hit home.
I want to do the challenge.
Wish me luck (or should I say pray for us please)
11/10/2009
I AM A 46 YEAR OLD MAN, THAT PRIOR TO 43 DAYS AGO, WAS A SELFISH INSENSITIVE HUSBAND TOWARD A WIFE WHO GAVE HERSELF 110% TO ME AND I DIDNT APPRECIATE IT, UNTIL I WENT TO JAIL. I WENT TO JAIL AND WAS AWAITING BAIL UNFORTUNATELY IT TOOK ALMOST 38 DAYS TO BE RELEASED BUT IN THOSE 38 DAYS I FOUND AND SAW WHO I TRULY WAS. I DID NOT LIKE WHAT I SAW AND LEARNED, I DIDNT DESERVE MY WIFES FORGIVENESS AND LOVE, AND I TRULY LEARNED THAT IF NOT BY THE BLESSING OF GOD I WOULD HAVE NOT RECIEVE MY FINAL CHANCE TO BECOME THE MAN SHE TRULY DESERVES. I KNOW WE ALL SAY OUR WIVES ARE GREAT AND THIS ABD THAT, BUT MY WIFE IS TRULY GREAT, SHE DEALT WITH MORE THAN ANY ONE WOMEN SHOULD DEAL WITH FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE. GOD HAS GIVEN HER A STRONG SENSE OF SELF AND SHE ALLOWED ME ENTRY ONCE AGAIN INTO HER HEART AND I WILL NOT LET HER OR GOD AND ESPECIALLY MYSELF AND OUR CHILDREN DOWN. I PLAN ON TAKING THIS 40 DAY JOURNAL SO SERIOUS THAT MY ONLY FOCUS IS FOR HER . I PLAN ON NOT MAKING HER REGRET ONE MORE CHANCE, BECAUSE FOR ME ITS MY LAST TRUE CHANCE FOR TRUE ETERNAL LOVE. I LOVE YOU ROSA AND THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH.
LOVINGLY
FRANKIE
FRANK
11/9/2009
I am not married but a year ago I was engaged to the man I am once again dating.
Things have been very hard fot us but I believe that with the love of God and the love we have for each other things will work out I am starting the dare and as today is the 1st day i believe God is with me evry step of the way.
Cindi
11/5/2009
where to start??? october4th is the day my world came crashing in on me. i found out several things about my husband. first that he is a sex addict, and has been having afairs with girls he hasmet at online dating services as well as using prostitution. he addmited he has been doing this for years!
i asked for a divorce- cheating is a deal breaker to me- he refused to give me a divorce and to leave the house- says he knows we can work this out. so now we are in marriage counsling- individual counsleing and he attends SAA(sex addicts annomous)meetings every week, we go to church every sunday and we devote an hour at the end of the day to talk.
we saw the movie fireproof. yes it did hit a nerve or two for both of us- frankly if we are to do the book- it will be very easy for me- i do most of it already as it is- for him, i know it will be a struggle- mainly because he has no clue how to communicate his feelings to anyone, much less me.
i do wish for my marriage to work out- but with so much betrayal, abandoment, lies i just dont know how to wrap my head around it all.
its nice to read all of the other posts, knowing so many are faced with some of the same problems.
i pray we all find our paths god has for us.
Kim
11/4/2009
I was married for 18 years with the father of my two children. We divorced 5 years ago, he asked me for a divorce. At first I was devastated, angry, sad, but I did agreed and we ended our marriage. I watched the Fireproof Movie about 6 months ago. I had recommended this movie to all of my friends. I wish that I had that movie when during the beginning of my relationship with my ex-husband. I had completed the 40 dare journal to get closer to God. This was the most valuable experience for me and I do recommend for anyone to do the 40 day dare as well.
My ex-husband is now asking for the Annulment of the Catholic Marriage. I am devastated that he feels that our marriage was not valid. I have a long and hard fight ahead but with the help of God, I know that everything is possible. Please pray for my family.
God Bless You!
JBG
Jackie
11/3/2009
My wife came home from her mothers yesterday and told me she doesn't love me anymore and wants out. We're both 21 and have only been married for 11 months. She told me awhile ago she still had feelings for her ex, but she says that thats not why shes leaving. She says shes just not happy. Honestly I have been doing everything I can to make sure shes happy. It might just be the fact that I'm currently unemployed and she is stressed out. I don't know what to ask you to pray for... I just ask you to pray that I can make her happy and convince her to stay, or if it is God's will that our divorce is civil and quick.
Lance
11/3/2009
I am close to finishing my 40 days. When I began, my wife had some major trust issues with me. The movie, Fireproof, was basically us. In the beginning, she ignored me. She did not want to make eye contact. She also wanted absolutely no physical contact. My saving grace was that she still treated me well in front of our 3 year old son. Anyhow, I started the dares, which were very difficult at first. Finding the time wasn't easy. After a few days in, however, I noticed a difference. I was getting less angry and frustrated. I was slowly changing. A more rounded individual. A better husband.
Some days were difficult. Calling my wife when she didn't want to talk did not go over well. Not saying 1 negative thing was very hard. Asking questions knowing that she is gonna rip me up and down and I just have to take it was not fun at all.
Then about 3 weeks into the Dare, I started to really look forward to each day. I was reading more. I wanted to complete each task. I wanted to be better. I liked who I was becoming. I enjoyed being creative and cooking supper. I recently bought a key chain with "Anything is possible with God" on the back. Also, I purchased a daily, inspirational calendar.
As I am finishing up the Dare, I am proud to say that my wife and I are doing really well. We are communicating more. We are open and honest. Throughout the process, she did not make me look like the bad guy in front of our son. She continued to support me and my endeavors. We are planning on having real dates and spending time together....just the 2 of us. Also, we are very much looking forward to our 8 year anniversary.
I say believe in yourself. Trust the process. And stay focused on your goals.
"With God all things are possible."
Matthew 19:26
Ryan
11/2/2009
I ask Prayers for my husband of 3 1/2 yr.. We hva ebeen together near 6yrs now ( as of Nov 25th, 2009) He says He still loves me/ has a love for me..yet He says He''s not sure if It''s enough...When we met it was as if We''d known one another all our lives.. This is Both of our Fourth marriage.. I have to believe He is not only my husband in Gods eyes..but my Lifelong partner..I have let ( things n online people) get in the way of me nurturing Out marriage..We are into SCA( Medieval reenactments) since Most of the events are on weekends, We liked going..sadly there was least 2 times I wasnt working n decided not to go...He went alone..Please...I Must believe God can n will restore..The Love we had n even it maybe better....Thank You...
Eve
10/31/2009
My wife we have been married for 4 and half years blessed with 2 daughters.Currently we are separated for the past 3months she left me because of I lost my job and things have been thick for us financially.it even forced me to move back to my parents house before I could be stable and find a place of my own.I found out that she has an affair with someone that i know.initially she was so hursh n cold towards me but of late she has started softening up.I have praying to the Lord for restoration of our marriage.I love a her and I need her back.I have been walking with my pastor during this trying moment and he adviced me Fire proof which I saw yesterday and am already Fired up to make the neccessary adjustments to bring her back home.Kindly pray for us.Thanks
Nobert
nobert
10/30/2009
I just came home from church where I watched the movie Fireproof. I am a Man and I cried the whole time because everything in that movie was me and my fiancee. At the moment she is not my fiancee. We are no longer engaged as she broke it off with me 2 weeks ago because she got tired of not being able to trust me for my addictions and my character. In our hearts we were married and wore rings. I love her with every thing I have. She says that she wants time and space for us each to date and time for me to get myself together. She says I am not marrage material and we both have said many horrible things to eachother. She sys she dont want to work it out and I do. Everything in the movie. I am now hurting and she probably is too and I don't know where tostart as we both are now moving out of the house we shared together. I really would like her to see the movie and take the love dare. I will see her on Monday and ask her if she has anything left in her to at least watch the movie. I pray that she forgives me for me not living up to what she wants me to be and that soon we come back together and finish what we started and finally get married in the presence of GOD. Please pray for us.
Thank You,
Ben
Ben
10/29/2009
I filed for divorce in anger at my husband to try to get his attention. He told me his was done with our marriage and that he could not make me happy. I was angry and I filed. Now he is mad and bitter and now God has spoke to me to stand for my marriage. I have ask for counseling and any other help that we need. He has a co worker who he has been very close friends for the last three years and I know it is the enemy that is destroying my marriage. He will not talk or speak to me. It is like he is perfectly fine with his life without his daughter and I. I am doing the love dare, but it is hard to do when he will not communicate with me at all unless it deals with our little gir.
I pray for his callas heart to be changed to a heart of flesh.
I wish he would wacth the movie or do the Love dare.
Stacie
stacie
10/28/2009
Erik and I have been married for five years this month, and we have a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I found out in August that Erik has been having an affair with a co-worker for the last year. Each day of the last two months has been different. We've been in counseling since the week I found out. I've come close to leaving Erik, but have chosen to stay. My relationship was not great before he had the affair, and I was beginning to come to terms with the fact that maybe this was how marriage was. You got into a rut, and just got used to being there, and didn't try really hard to get out....of the marriage or the rut.
I'm done with the rut, but I'm not giving up my marriage. We've rededicated ourselves to eachother and have decided that this marriage is worth saving. I heard about Love Dare and Fireproof from a friend, and I have to say, I'm hooked. I'm excited to read the book and learn more, and I'm excited to rediscover my best friend and recommit myself to the man I love.
Stacey
Stacey
10/27/2009
I have been married 8 1/2 years and have three beautiful children ages 6, 4, and 2. My huband and I have been on a rocky road for some time now. I have been fed up many times and thought of divorce. I often wonder if I made a mistake thinking this man that I love so much was my soul mate. A few weeks ago, we had a whole weekend of fighting. I told him that I loved him but I would not stay in a loveless marriage...he did not seem to care. Over the course of the weekend I discovered that he has been corresponding to another woman via texts/emails from his hometown for the last three months. Bashing me and telling her our marital secrets (he does not see anything wrong with this). I went in my room and prayed for God to help me to make the right decision... know what to say. I decided thst if we were to be divorced, I wanted to be able to tell my children that I tried my best to make it work and I killed him with love and kindness so to speak. Over these last two weeks, a friend of mine told me about the movie Fireproof and the book The Love Dare. I bought it and started to read it and probably completed Dares 1-3 without ever reading the book. I feel very much that the Lord has answered my prayers and showed me the book without showing me the book... I feel renewed knowing that I have God on my side when I asked him to be to help save my marriage. Now only time will tell.
Patti
10/27/2009
My husband and I have been married for only 2 months. It feels like so much longer! we met almost 2 years ago at function at my church! We began dating just a couple weeks after meeting and a couple months after that we started talking about getting married! We just knew we were ment to be! His parents didn't share our enthusiasm! Then shortly after that I found out he had cheated on me! He CONSTANTLY lied to me! I knew in my heart that we were ment to be and I knew I loved him with my whole heart! Over time I began to trust him more and as we began to plan our wedding we grew closer together and closer to God than ever before.. Then we got married.. it was the most beautiful day of my life!! I then felt like all of our hard work paid off!! The week after our wedding my husband lost his job, we moved in with my inlaws, my other in law sent a NASTY letter to my mom and my whole family turned on me due to the letter! The first 2 months of marriage has been the hardest most difficult time! All I keep thinking is that this is not how it's supposed to be! This has made me doubt my marriage and my husband! I know that this is just the enemy speaking to me! I DO NOT believe in casual divorce! I believe when you get married it's for life!! I just don't know what to do! Today my husband and I watched fireproof just like many times before it has touched my heart, only today something pierced my heart as we sat there.. I KNOW ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE with GOD!!! So we are going to start a step in a new direction.. we ask that you PLEASE PRAY FOR US!!
Alyssa
10/26/2009
My husband and I have been married since 3-1-05 we have been through alot the last couple years, we have been sperated off and on since 6-06 going back in forth last yr we seperated for 10 months with out speaking to each other but we got back together in feb and the again sep in june of this yr (09) I realized this last time that he is the man i want to grow old with and be with forever I havent known how or where to begin to fix our problems because there is so many of them we both have cheated when apart and we both had the drug scenes in our life and there was a time when abuse was there I know we have both come along way since all this and have began to just be best friends again I feel closer to him now than ever before he lives in austin and I live in houston but yet we find time in our busy lives to talk to each other all the time we have 2 children who are suffering from our seperation one lives with him (he is 4) one lives with me he is 6) its causing problems with them I know my heart wants to be there but the trust issue is hard between the two of us and I have recently been put on probation for my stupid acts and I have a job here. I dont know what to do if Everyone can please pray for us we really need it please! I have been telling him about this Movie (I found out through church Which I have been going to or trying to faithfully! Also I go to my church's RUI program (reformu.com) in case anyone in there marriage has that issue u can find a local church who has it it also is christian based which is for people with addictions since me and him both have struggled with that) He has promised to look into it I am hoping that this will bring us even closer because I know that I am only 22 (he is 30) yrs old but he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with he is an awesome father and just a great person I had forgotten why I loved him so much until this last year, I had a breakdown when he had split up and turned to drugs and partying to be numb from the pain I didnt talk to him nfor 10 months and I called him up and told him my problem and he took me back and let me go get straight and be with both my kids when im with him I dont ever want to do anything like that when we are together, but Like I was saying I realized when we got back together that he did LOVE ME its like he had to lose me and me lose him to realize what its like without each other, I dont ever want to be apart I cam back down in june over 1 argument the day before my birthday it was stupid but we still have stayed in contact talking all the time. I Think that this Love Dare would work between us I have already started my relationship with god during this whole thing and I know we have been through so Much and its made us stronger friends than ever that we are truely meant to be together, I would just like everyone to please pray for my family to reunite together if we can make it through this I know that every marriage can its just how much u want to put into it, I know one thing no matter what my marriage turns out I know that my heart will always belong to him. (Jason I love u and Im sorry for everything I have put you through and I Pray every night that it wont be long for us to be back together I am so sorry for taking you for granted if you allow me back in your life I promise you I will show you everyday how much you mean to me as we grow old together!)
Jessica
Jessica
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